November 03, 2003
This is David officially announcing that, in the spirit of Faustus’s trip to Britain, I have officially annexed The Search for Love in Manhattan into the fabulous empire of Upside-down Hippopotamus. Unlike most of England’s colonizing, this should be a rather bloodless transition, although I cannot predict how Faustus will react upon returning to find himself usurped. He tends to get unreasonably touchy about that sort of thing, but my fire-breathing Goblin should be up to the task of protecting me.
Over in my own web log (at which my boyfriend is currently guest-blogging while I consolidate power here), I have been reminiscing lately about my dorky early years (these are distinguishable from my dorky current years by the hair that has lately begun to sprout in some rather inappropriate bodily locations). Just today, I thought of another such episode.
Picture it: Eastern Junior High School, 1984. Tori Amos aficionados may recognize the name of her alma mater, although she was long gone by the time I made my awkward appearance on the scene (although we eventually attended divisions of the same university, come to think of it). One warm spring day, I shucked my Members Only jacket and, rather than carry it, tied it around my waist as I walked down the hall. At one point, I encountered a classmate named Melissa, who may or may not have been the prettiest girl in the school but was certainly in her own mind convinced she had attained that status.
“It’s so hot in here,” Melissa complained.
“Why don’t you take off your jacket and tie it around your waist, like me?” I suggested helpfully.
She gave me a once over. “Because I don’t want to look like a total nerd,” she said.
Ah, the good old days.
At least I can console myself with my realization that I have been leading a parallel lives with Tori Amos. My album will be on the charts any day now.
Posted by Faustus, MD at 01:52 PM
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Comments
1) Crash said (on 11/ 3/03 at 02:18 PM):
I'm sure Melissa has gotten old and fat, while you have remained young and pretty.
2) tim said (on 11/ 3/03 at 06:48 PM):
You should find out where Melissa is and call her and ask her, "Do you remember when you were young, pretty, and thin?"
3) Convivia said (on 11/ 4/03 at 02:01 PM):
Actually, I suspect that Melissa is now scarily gaunt, with those parentheses around her sour, over-lipsticked mouth.
Also, her hair is stringy.
4) Wayne said (on 11/ 4/03 at 03:06 PM):
I... I love Tori...
I'd bitch slap Melissa and set her nose hair no fire.
5) David said (on 11/ 4/03 at 04:22 PM):
Crash: Not pretty and thin enough for a full erotic dream, I see. Heh.
6) David said (on 11/ 4/03 at 04:23 PM):
Tim: I forget her last name, but that is a good idea. Perhaps you could help by obtaining a list of every Melissa who ever went to Eastern Junior High School and making a few calls for me.
7) David said (on 11/ 4/03 at 04:23 PM):
Convivia: You are no doubt correct. Her hair was stringy even then.
8) David said (on 11/ 4/03 at 04:24 PM):
Wayne: As evidenced by our eerily parallel lives, love for Tori translates into love for me. Therefore, grab your Zippo and get cracking.
9) Wayne said (on 11/ 6/03 at 11:39 AM):
Zippo? Honey, I don't smoke. :)
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