June 11, 2002
Today in McDonald's I saw the following sign hanging below the menu:
SMILE GUARANTEE
If we do not SMILE before you pay, you get a FREE
Small French Fry or Hash Brown.
PLEASE PLAY! .............. TRY TO CATCH US!
This is a direct quote (I wrote it down) except that I'm actually not positive about the number of periods in between PLEASE PAY! and TRY TO CATCH US! I kept trying to count them—the woman at the register clearly thought I was a dangerous lunatic—but there was something sinister and mesmerizing about the periods that caused me to lose count every time I got past three.
Now I can never go to McDonald's again, for fear that an employee subjected to such degradation will have brought a gun to work and will start shooting while I am there.
In perhaps less terrifying news, I have been reviewed! Wendy, thank you, whoever you are. Would that you were a gay man so that I could obsess neurotically about you and fall in love with you and then meet you and be completely disappointed and disillusioned.
Posted by Faustus, MD at 11:54 PM
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Comments
1) Lyn said (on 06/12/02 at 02:39 PM):
I have to agree with her review. I thoroughly enjoy reading your entries because they *are* extremely well written. Good luck in your search!
2) brian said (on 07/20/05 at 01:27 AM):
hmmmm....and all these years i was mistakenly thinking it was the burgers that would kill, not the cashier! thanks for the heads up. ;)
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