May 5, 2007

For my final exam in ancient Egyptian, I have to translate this (click on the picture to see an enlarged version):

Egypt final.JPG

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27 Responses to For my final exam in ancient Egyptian, I have to translate this

  1. matt says:

    Ack. Scary. And also — just to burden you with expectations of success — very impressive ­čÖé

    Reply
  2. Lauren says:

    Into what language?

    Reply
  3. Sin says:

    Good grief. Couldn’t you be spending that time more productively? You know, fucking like a bunny or eating chocolate by the metric tonne or something (you know that this is going to drive you to the latter, right)?

    Reply
  4. Brian says:

    Couldn’t be any easier.

    Reply
  5. lee says:

    It’s right on the tip of my tongue. Oops. Sorry. It was a fur ball.

    Does it matter that the divinity flags are flying in opposite directions?

    Reply
  6. matt: Ack is right. And though the inscription may be impressive, so far my translation is not. At all.

    Lauren: PERL.

    Sin: You’ll note that I haven’t made any angsty posts about my weight lately. This is because I have become a sphere, and if I ate any more chocolate than I’m already eating I would explode. Luckily this has not interfered with the fucking like a bunny.

    Brian: If I give you my social security number, will you take the exam for me?

    lee: No, it doesn’t. They’re in parts of the inscription that are to be read in different directions.

    Reply
  7. Logan says:

    What does the hot gay guy looking at himself in the mirror at the bottom of the picture mean?

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  8. Ann says:

    Is it cheating if I tell you that to me that looks like the cartouche of Menkaura?

    hmmm, why is my confirmation word “conceited”?

    Reply
  9. Logan: It means “me.” I’m actually not kidding.

    Ann: Unfortunately it’s actually the cartouche of Khekure. But everybody’s confirmation word is “conceited.” I considered “pedantic” for a while but “conceited” just seemed more appropriate.

    Reply
  10. Teddy says:

    Did they have drive-throughs in ancient Egypt? I’m pretty sure the seventh line from the top says “Upgrade to king size for 1 deben more.”

    Reply
  11. Ann says:

    Ah well, wrong dynasty and all! I thought they had double cartouches at that point. Just when you think it’s safe, they go and swap your cartouches on ya!

    Happy translating and I’ll go stick to my knitting (alpaca/silk blend – good stuff)

    Reply
  12. henry says:

    that looks to me like an early edition of the ‘best buys’ catalogue from Crate and Barrel. Lots of cleavers for poultry, tasteful pottery, table linen and other funky stuff for the well stocked pyramid. Not sure about those gigantic butt plugs, though.

    Reply
  13. David says:

    No thank you. Sudoku gives me enough of a headache. You could not pay me enough.

    Reply
  14. will says:

    Wouldn’t it be something if it translated into “The Search for Love in Manhattan?”

    Reply
  15. campbell says:

    Judging by the pictures at the bottom it is obviously a menu for an ancient Egyptian take-away restaurant. ow do you write ‘No menus please’ in hieroglyphics?

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  16. Jess says:

    My ancient Egyptian is a little rusty, but I think it says, “Eat at Joe’s”

    Reply
  17. chris says:

    my god man!

    and i thought the crossword was hard. i think ill stick to sudoku like david.

    Reply
  18. Christopher says:

    Joel, you’re a smart guy, and I’m glad you’re flexing your intellectual muscles. Kudos. That being said, if I want a five-page treatise on ancient Egyptian, I’ll go to the Discovery Channel. Please, won’t you go back to the sex, in-law facilitated gunplay, aerobics horror stories and psychoanalyzing of supermodel wanna-bes? To be blunt with my back-handed compliment, I miss being entertained by you. Feel free to flense the hell out of my grammar – I think there’s a run-on sentence in there. But to re-cap: C’MON!

    Reply
  19. Easy-peasy! But don’t you think this lemon-meringue pie recipe is a bit archaic! Use Splenda instead… especially after the “sphere” confession!?

    Reply
  20. John says:

    I can’t make heads or tails of most of this, but I am pretty sure that line 15 reads:

    “They drummed you out of Hollywood, so you come crawling back to Broadway. But Broadway doesn’t go for booze and dope. Now get out of my way, I’ve got a man waiting for me!”

    Reply
  21. Nightfly says:

    It’s actually pretty simple: “Speak, friend, and enter.”

    Reply
  22. Jeffrey says:

    Hm, I thought it might say something like, “From beneath you it devours.”

    No? Oh, well.

    Reply
  23. Chuck says:

    It was immediately very obvious to me from the title, which I interpret as: “Birds. What to feed them and what not to feed them.” It goes on in very boring detail about seeds, etc. I’m sure this particular tablet was found in the seconds bin at the Cairo Nature Bookseller stall. It never really came anywhere near the sales of “One Hundred And One Ways To Mummify Cats!”

    Reply
  24. Chuck says:

    It was obvious to me after enlarging the photo that the title is: “Birds. What To Feed Them And What Not to Feed Them.”

    I’m pretty sure that this particular tablet was found in the “Half Off” bin at the Cairo Nature Bookseller stall, sometime in the early BC’s.

    It’s sales never got anywhere near those of “One Hundred And One Ways To Mummify Cats” which was immensely popular. The illustrations were clear and the granite was of the finest quality available at the time.

    Now if you can find a good copy of “King Tut! Was He Or Wasn’t He?” then you have yourself a prize! Gossipy? for sure, but it was purported to be the first book ever on papyrus and naturally not many copies survived. I’ve never personally seen one.

    Reply
  25. Chuck says:

    Sorry about the double post. I thought I accidentally deleted the first one.

    Reply
  26. Raybob says:

    Well, it looks like there are two big butt plugs in the bottom middle, so whatever it says, I’m sure it’s hot.

    Reply
  27. Pingback: A final exam … | The Sheila Variations

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