August 18, 2004

The other day I was watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit not that I have a thing for Chris Meloni or anything oh no not at all and the episode started out in a church, where the custodian discovered the dead body of a woman next to the confessional. My mind spun off on an interrogation fantasy involving my daddy Detective Stabler. I was sort of paying attention to the episode as Benson and Stabler discovered that the woman was actually a transvestite prostitute. . . . “Faustus,” Stabler would say, “I’m very angry at your refusal to give up your friend.” . . . The tranny prostitute had been raped and horribly mutilated. . . . “You’ve been very bad, and I’m going to have to take extreme measures to get you to talk.” . . . The word “peccavisti” had been scrawled on the confessional wall. . . . After cuffing me to the table, Stabler would undo his belt and pull down his pants. . . . Benson and Stabler asked a priest what “peccavisti” meant and he told them it was Latin for “I have sinned.” . . . He would rip off my WHAT!?

My shock and horror destroyed utterly the fantasy I’d been enjoying.

Because “peccavisti” doesn’t mean “I have sinned.” It means “you have sinned.”

Rape, mutilation and murder are one thing when you’re fantasizing about Chris Meloni. But bad Latin is something else entirely.

I watched the rest of the episode, dismayed, until forensic psychiatrist Huang pointed out the mistranslation, which in turn gave the detectives the information they needed to apprehend the criminal. So it was all part of the plot!

After the episode was over, I googled “peccavisti law order” and came up with this. I thanked God I wasn’t the only one who was concerned about such things.

Then I went back to my fantasy about Detective Stabler; this time the conclusion was much more satisfactory.

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20 Responses to The other day I was

  1. Marc says:

    Oh good, Faustus, you’re still sane. I thought you had gone totally out of your mind with the McGreevey commentary last week, but Chris Meloni is worthy of worship. And it was so fun to see all of him in OZ.

  2. kevin says:

    My conjecture: among the writers is a former Latin discipulus embittered from years of being taunted by philistines who declare Latin a dead language.

    “Why study Latin, you ask? Well, did you ever see that one episode of Law and Order?”

  3. James says:

    Dr. Faustus

    I’ll fight you for him.

    –Mrs. Chris Meloni

  4. Marc, you will be shocked to know that I’ve never actually seen Oz. Clearly I must correct this error immediately. Kevin, I don’t doubt that you’re right; I narrowly escaped being a classics major in college, so perhaps that embittered discipulus is me in a parallel reality. Mrs. Meloni, I’m sorry, but you’re going down. S, thank you for pointing out what you pointed out. I have rectified the situation and destroyed the evidence.

  5. Jalal says:

    How is it that we share fantasies and never meet up in them?

  6. Kris says:

    Chris Meloni is hot. And Jalal, you can dream about an Orgy with Faustus in it.

  7. So it was a strategic and witty use of bad latin?

  8. Scott says:

    In the only episode of Oz I ever saw, Chris Meloni pushed Brian Bloom down onto his knees and made him suck him off.

    Chris Meloni is hot.

  9. Jason says:

    i must admit that i’ve been away from the search for love for quite some time, but having read this night the extensively sad blog of a friend who’d recently lost love, i thought something lighter (?) was in order? only to find that, in a flash, i was suddenly in heat. and not ’cause of the fever i’ve been suffering for days.


  10. Jason says:

    oh! and after a year of waiting i finally know the who’s who of the ski trip incident. and the means by which i found out definitely comes in at a distant (but still) second to the ski trip in the category of “social trauma.”

  11. At least it was a strategic and witty use of bad latin and not just a goof.

  12. matt says:

    This is one of those blogalike entries, isn’t it?

  13. Frank says:

    Mmmmmm, Chris Meloni

  14. jake says:

    well, i trump all of you, because i see chris meloni very frequently at my gym on the UWS, and yes, he is just as hot in person, if not more so. he reeks of masculinity.

  15. Kreedi says:
  16. Convivia says:

    Yeah, but it was Eric Stolz, as I recall. And you know that Eric Stolz doesn’t know fuck-all about Latin.

  17. Bambi says:

    any idea of how to get a hold of chris meloni’s e-mail or contact him for a question? I am desperate, please help!!!! Thanks

  18. homo sapien says:

    Ur a Fag point blank period

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  20. Richard says:

    Oh homo sapien…you are *SO* witty…


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