A chance examination of my site statistics has revealed to me that I may be in the running for a Bloggy Award. I am thrilled at the prospect of winning a Bloggy, but the knowledge that it’s a real possibility has given me the worst case of performance anxiety I’ve ever had, even worse than when I played the part of Litter in the second grade Arbor Day pageant and at the climax of the piece, when I was supposed to throw a piece of litter at the hero (a move I executed with great panache in the dress rehearsal), I missed him and threw the litter in the garbage can instead, thereby ruining my character’s credibility and the dramatic arc of the whole play.
Not that I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since or anything.
Anyway, the possibility of winning a Bloggy Award has caused me to develop a horrible case of writer’s block, which in turn makes the pressure to write well even worse, because of course people are judging me now, not that people aren’t always judging me, of course they are, aren’t they?, because I am certainly always judging everybody else, but there’s an actual AWARD at stake now and writing badly could RUIN EVERYTHING and mean the difference between living a happy, fulfilling, glamorous life and dying friendless, unprotected, and alone.
God, I wish I did drugs.