December 24, 2002

I signed up yesterday for an online dating service at www.gayjews.net. It has the virtue of being far less comprehensive in its questions than some of the other online dating services I’ve signed up with, which means a) it requires far less effort to write a profile, and b) since there’s no room for the profiles to be scintillating, you don’t develop unrealistic expectations of others based on their profiles.

Unless you’re me, of course.

So somebody whose profile I responded to today sent me back an e-mail asking if I had a picture. I went to my profile and saw to my horror that I had somehow managed not to upload my picture. Which means, of course, that anybody who saw my profile between when I signed up and when I posted my picture will think that I had no picture because I am hideously ugly, including a few really cute guys I’d already sent messages to, even though I’m actually rather cute instead of hideously ugly, but it doesn’t matter because they will already have written me off as a gay Jewish Quasimodo and never look at my profile again and I will live out the remainder of my life friendless, unprotected, and alone.

Merry Christmas.