August 8, 2008

Remember Dmitri the Lover?

Well, lucky for us all, he’s giving lessons.

According to the protocols of the Rasputin Method of Seduction developed by Dimitri The Lover, it is important that as much physical contact as possible occur during the initial interaction in order to
set the tone for future sessions. Unfortunately, due to absurd, unnatural, feminist-inspired North American laws which run contrary to our natural biological urges, men are restricted from groping women at will. Therefore, it is imperative that the touching be consensual. The key is getting women to feel both comfortable and aroused at the thought of being treated like a piece of meat at a slave auction.

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9 Responses to Remember Dmitri the Lover

  1. david says:

    OK, after ready that meeting announcement, I am ashamed to admit that I wished I lived in Toronto.

  2. TheGreenCat says:

    Thanks, Faustus. Now I need to take another shower. Perhaps fully clothed. Ew.

  3. anne marie in philly says:

    one word:


  4. Sarah says:

    Now, aren’t you sad that you’re a man, and therefore will never have the pleasure of being pursued by such a gem?

  5. Craig says:

    And all along I thought it was rude to ask women to put a ball gag in their mouth within the first 5 minutes of meeting them.

  6. initials says:

    You know, I thought that towering D-bag Dimitri would’ve been in prison by now. Yet more proof that even Parliamentary legalism can’t trump the morbidity of North American misogyny… And this from a guy who occasionally goes for the boobies.

  7. birdfarm says:

    Craig, not necessarily. It really depends on where you meet.

  8. goblinbox says:

    Absurd! Unnatural!


    So unnatural to not let ogres grope one at will.

  9. David says:

    The thing I can’t help getting away from is that unless this man is utterly delusional, he is getting positive reinforcement for his behavior, and not just from his drinking buddies. Clearly, there are enough women responding to his shtick that he believes in all his own bullshit. That’s kind of sad.


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