August 15, 2006

One of the great things about dating a psychiatrist is that he diagnoses anyone who is mean to me with a mental illness.

He says that various indications make it crystal clear to him that the man who nearly beat me up and stabbed me on the subway had antisocial personality disorder–in other words, that he was a sociopath.

In the future I think I will restrict myself to touching only those people who clearly wish to be touched. I have certainly encountered enough of those to suspect such a policy will still keep me busy.

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16 Responses to One of the great things about dating a psychiatrist is that he

  1. David says:

    Ahh, glad to see the Faustus spirit has been dampened not one iota. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

  2. Cliff says:

    Haha! That’s pretty awesome. My boyfriend is a corporate auditor, which means he can help me… audit my accounts? Big whoop.

  3. Jeffrey says:

    Well, I for one hope they’ll be diagnosed with something terminal in the near future. But then, I’m hateful, mean, and vindictive. Just ask my boyfriend!

  4. That is one of the most useful aspects of having a psychiatrist boyfriend. Although, you really don’t a psychiatrist to tell you the guy was crazy. Only a sociopath would be capable of threatening to hurt someone as fantastic as you 🙂

  5. cbb says:

    Dating? Aren’t you a little past dating?

  6. John says:

    Certainly glad to see hope springs eternal for us members of VFD (Voyeurs for Derfner).

    (Why do I feel as if I’m channeling Lemony Snicket?)

  7. Crash says:

    I like being touched. Just saying.

  8. ScottJ says:

    Carry your knitting with you. Think of what wonderful impalements await the ignorant louts that might harras you.

  9. �bermensch says:

    Don’t touch me.

  10. Dave says:

    But what about all the sociopaths that touch YOU? Particularly the brandishing-one-dollar-bills variety. What’s your policy on that?? 😉

  11. matt says:

    Ha ha ha, kiddo 🙂 You win points and get to seem cool despite that.

    Did I mention that I love you? I’m sure I did.

  12. Hanuman says:

    Of course, avoiding the crazies in New York, would be a full time occupation!

  13. Chris says:

    Two points for you joely bear:

    1. Go get some EMDR, if your bf aint trained in it. Like, really. i found it fab for traumas and getting over people who were real mean to me.

    2. Rest assured the horrible people like mister meanie on the train end up leading terrrrrrible horrrrrible unhappy sad miserable lives. Ask your bf to show u some research on it.

  14. Groomzilla says:

    The American Psychiatric Association publishes a pocket-size version of the DSM-IV, with a user-friendly index and bulletpoints on every psychiatric illness and personality disorder imaginable. With a little familiarity, you could soon be diagnosing people on your own. I use it regularly not only for patients but for colleagues, acquaintances and family members as well. It’s reassuring.

  15. Aidan says:

    Good idea, cupcake.

    We three ate at the Oriental Noodle on 45th last night and I thought about you. (Damn, those chicken and spinach dumplings are good!)

    I’ll write you when my feet stop hurting.

  16. Helen says:

    Not sure if I agree with the diagnosis. He’s probably just a major closet case. You know how they get.


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