Dear God,
Remember when I said that if You let George W. Bush be impeached I would go an entire week without taking Your name in vain, even while being sodomized?
Well, that deal is now off the table.
However, if he is found guilty of treason and executed, I’ll up it to a month.
Sincerely yours,
Faustus
It’s okay, Faustus. I’m sure you held out for as long as you could. xoxoxo (pronounced “Zho-zho-zho”)
Tell God I’ll throw in an extra month if his mother, the wretched harridan, finally succumbs to whatever makes her eyes bug out like she’s terminally constipated. I can’t stand her.
OMG, you’re back at last! What a relief! I was about to release the hounds!
I’ll add to the pot and forswear alcohol for two months. And that’s saying something. (Vodka doesn’t have to be “alcohol” technically does it?)
I’ll add in going to Mepkin Abbey for a month; although I’d rather be in a monastery that makes wine in Italy. Any suggestions?
The husband and I have found that referring to him as “President Monkeyface Goatfucker”–or just “the Monkey,” for short–dulls the pain somewhat. In case that helps.