In the second of these posts, I revealed the porn name that I had chosen. I did not use the standard Name of First Pet/Name of Street Where You Grew Up algorithm (though, to be honest, doing so would have resulted in the terrific porn name Stan Savage); it was simply the inspiration of the moment. However, I have just gone back and removed it from the post, because yesterday inspiration struck much more powerfully and I have now come up with a porn name for myself that is quite possibly the most brilliant thing I will ever do and I should just kill myself now because it’ll all be downhill from here.
And the name is:
“Toby” is the bottomest name I can think of. And “Defarge” of course is the name of the woman in A Tale of Two Cities who works her enemies’ names into her knitting, thereby dooming them to the guillotine.
Bottoming, knitting, and revenge. If only there were a way to add chocolate to the mix, I really would have distilled my very essence into a name, at which point I would probably never be able to reveal it to anybody for fear that, by using it, s/he would gain power over my very soul.
Of course, this is all moot anyway, unless I can persuade E.S. to appear in a porn movie with me.
Okay, I know what I’m asking for for my birthday next year.