February 1, 2003

N.B.: I posted twice yesterday. This is it for today.

What L. said to me after ten minutes of making out after watching Lara Croft: Tomb Raider tangled up with me on my couch:

“This is an awkward moment to say this, but less awkward now than in ten minutes. . . . I’m not really into this.”

What I said:

“Well, drat. . . . You’re right, it is an awkward moment, but I understand.”

What I should have said:

“You’re damn right it’s an awkward moment, especially since you had the opportunity to say the same thing when you lay down on my bed ten minutes ago or when I asked you if you wanted to come into my bedroom fifteen minutes ago or when you put your arm around me on the couch two hours ago or in fact at any number of times before now, any of which would have spared me at least some of the utter humiliation I feel at this moment, plus when you showed up at my door I was appalled to see that what I’d thought (in the dim restaurant lighting) was blond highlighting was actually premature graying, and anyway I spent most of the movie thinking about how my office crush is so much more interesting and attractive than you are, so get out of my fucking apartment, you bastard.”

I’d thought for one brief, shining moment that there might actually be somebody I didn’t hate.

There goes that theory.

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5 Responses to N.B.: I posted twice yesterday.

  1. Ian says:

    OUCH. I know what you mean. This doesn’t seem to be a great day for romantic pursuits, is it? 🙂 Just got an email from the EXBF myself, and there it was in the salutations: “Good day, old friend.” I wanted to crawl under my desk.

  2. Jen says:

    If it makes you feel better, at least you were given the chance tonight. I had to drag a friend to accompany me to this-guy-Im-sort-of-seeing-but-notreally-and-apparently-more-heavily-stressed-on-the”NOT REALLY”-part-than-I-thought’s band’s show. Assuming of course that I’d be getting some after. But no. He told me on his break that he was “feeling ill”. Feel this, asshole.

  3. danee says:

    try bikram yoga. it makes anything seem not so bad.

  4. Patrick says:

    it sucks – do something nice for yourself, take a deep breath, and get back on the horse in a few days…

  5. angelo says:

    Click your heels three times, honey, and remember that there’s no place like homo.


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