January 23, 2003

Last night I got the following e-mail from the Republican I went on a date with last week:

“Am frankly surprised I have not heard back from you after an email, a phone call, and an enjoyable dinner. You seemed to have indicated or I seemed to have believed you had a nice time meeting and wanted to meet up again for something healthy and fun. Should I take this to mean you are happier ‘doing the slut thing,’ as you refer to it?

“For someone who professes to be such a unique individual, you exhibit the ultimate clichéd gay boy response. I certainly hope your musicals are more original than your response, or lack thereof.”

I’m actually in awe of how cruel and bitchy he felt the need to be. Let’s ignore for the moment that I was doing exactly what Miss Manners says to do in this situation. What did he want me to say?

“Thanks for your e-mail and call. I’m writing to let you know that I was actually just pretending to have a nice time and that in fact I found your person almost as repulsive as your politics and would sooner be forced to live the rest of my life in a Family Circus comic strip than spend another evening with you. 🙂 Have a nice day!”

I mean, come on.

Though it would almost have been worth sending that response to him simply to use the smiley face emoticon in that way.

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6 Responses to Last night I got the

  1. Convivia says:

    I like it. What did you actually send him?

    Maybe you need a form letter, like they have for job interviews.

    “Dear Sir,

    Thank you for your interest in the position of Faustus’s boyfriend. Unfortunately, we find that your experience and skills, though impressive, do not meet our needs at this time.

    Best of luck in your future endeavors!


    Human Resources Department
    The Search for Love in Manhattan”

  2. snarky says:

    Faustus – While I usually delight in snarkiness, but his email to you was out of line. insipid little republican jerk.

    Great idea Convivia!

  3. Faustus, MD says:

    So far I have figured that the better part of valour is discretion and not responded. But perhaps I should refuse to let such an insult go unanswered?

  4. Convivia says:

    No, I think you should write back (because when people don’t write after a date, they’re Assholes–however, I think the statute of limitations is at least a week, for God’s sake!)

    “Dear Rude Log,

    I’m sorry that you were disappointed not to hear from me earlier; it often takes me a few days to catch up with my correspondence. Although it was fascinating to meet you and talk with you at dinner, I don’t think we have enough in common to pursue a relationship. The very best of luck to you.”

    For “fascinating” here, read “a fascinating VISION of HELL!!!!!”

  5. Akasha says:

    I think your response email is perfect. Press the ‘send’ button on that badass. 😉

  6. sam says:

    Such an insulting email should really not go unanswered. Please do send your response. 🙂


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