November 20, 2009

Tonight while watching TV:

E.S.: Team Jacob and Team Edward? What’s that about?
FAUSTUS: It’s New Moon, honey.
E.S.: What’s that?
FAUSTUS: …
E.S.: …
FAUSTUS: How can you live in this country and not know?
E.S.: I don’t know, I just don’t.
FAUSTUS (sighing longsufferingly): New Moon is the second movie in the Twilight series, sweetheart. Edward is the heartthrob of the vampires and Jacob is the heartthrob of the werewolves.
E.S.: Hey, that’s not a bad idea.
FAUSTUS: Jesus Christ.
E.S.: It is a bad idea?
FAUSTUS: I don’t believe this.
E.S.: I’m so old.

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6 Responses to Tonight while watching TV

  1. goblinbox says:

    Oh, I’m so glad E.S. is baffled too! Because I do NOT WANT to know any more about the franchise than I already do, which is virtually nothing.

    Reply
  2. Naomi says:

    I’m team whomever doesn’t act like a creepy freaky stalker. Is that either one of them? (Have you seen this video?

    …it’s better if you’ve ever seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I think it actually works pretty well even if you have only the vaguest idea who she is.)

    Reply
  3. Anyhoo says:

    Just be glad you only have Jacob and Edward to contend with, not John and Edward.

    Reply
  4. initials says:

    As much as I have to admire your ability to stay up-to-the-minute on all things pop cultural, Herr Doktor, I have to say ‘Go, E.S.!’ where Twilight is concerned…

    I’ve always felt that vampires shouldn’t want to go outdoors because it burns them to death rather than that it makes them sparkle too much. Also, Werewolves shouldn’t look like shirtless, suspiciously buff abeit hairless daddies, only smeared with artful streaks of dirt vaguely reminiscent of santorum. In fact, I wish I didn’t know enough about the series to write the previous run-on sentence… Somebody feed me to a sparkler!

    Reply
  5. David says:

    Twilight. Feh.

    Reply
  6. Paul says:

    JAcob rocks. And Bella Swan is a brainless nitwit.

    Now that my teenage rant is over, I gotta say Jacob looks shockingly delicious in a wet tee despite being jailbait.

    Reply

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