October 22, 2008

Last night I dreamed that, after she and I sank on the Titanic, my dog established a colony on the ocean floor and that she ruled over it peacefully for decades. After a long and satisfying period of peace and prosperity, she stepped down and passed the crown to her daughter but remained in the colony in an advisory capacity. My dog’s daughter did the same when her time to step down came. The colony was populated mostly by bugs, but they were cute bugs, not icky bugs. Many times hordes of icky enemy bugs attacked the colony, but my dog and her descendants made consistently good decisions and always ended up absorbing the icky enemy bugs into the colony and making them into cute bugs. I was there the whole time but obviously I recognized that it would be folly to interfere with my dog’s wise governmental choices. When our friend Y. showed up, we realized that it was time to go, and my dog’s last words to the colony were that its members should support all things in their natural course and particularly that the plastic forks should be allowed to mate with the plastic spoons and that in fact all the plastic flatware should be allowed to mate with anybody else, because it would only strengthen the colony in the end.

Then we set off with our friend Y. on the path to our next adventure.

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15 Responses to Last night I dreamed that, after she and I sank on the Titanic

  1. Kenny says:

    Three things:

    1.) It’s good to know someone is having dreams as strange as mine–perhaps even stranger!

    2.)…even though last night, I had a dream about work *and* a dream where I saw someone naked. I leave it to your imagination to decide whether or not they were the same dream, and whether or not I enjoyed it. :-p

    3.) Did the dish run away with the spoon?!? I wish you’d have stuck around long enough to find out!

  2. Eric says:

    As a proponent of traditional fork/fork and spoon/spoon marriage, I have to say that your doggie dream sounds like the fevered imaginations of pinko commie socialists. Is your middle name also Hussein?
    When you allow forks to marry spoons, you end up with sporks and how do you explain that to teh childrenz?!?!?!?

  3. TED says:

    I am trying to think of a way of mating with plastic flatware that would not involve significant discomfort. So far, I’m not coming up with anything, but I’ll keep at it.

    I was trying hard to resist the urge to say, “Maybe we could just spoon,” but I failed at that, too.

  4. initials says:

    But where does the Chinette figure?!? Poor paper plates… In any case, I say kudos to you for dreaming in sexually ambiguous political verse. The fact that your dog’s rule was that of a philosopher queen should make your next appointment with your therapist slightly less taxing… The free love portion of the vision, however, may prove slightly more sticky (pun intended).

  5. Kenny: To figure out the answer to #2 I need to know whether the work was your day job or your teaching job.

    Eric: Actually, my middle name is bin Laden, and I’m coming to get you. And your flatware.

    TED: I was with you for the first paragraph. You lost me at the second.

    initials: Oh, God, if only you knew about the parts of the dream I left out.

  6. derfina says:

    Deep, Joel. Or really strange, one.

  7. derfina: I’m going to go with deep. If you’ve realized since leaving this comment that that’s not the right one, feel free not to enlighten me.

  8. JamesR says:

    I’m quite keen to know what you ate / consumed before going to bed last night – the dream has a “Lucy in the Skies with Diamonds” quality about it.

  9. JamesR: Oh, God, I can’t remember, but I’m sure chocolate was involved.

  10. Birdie says:

    THERE you are!

    So your dog was Queen of the World, huh. Actually she sounds like the ideal political candidate. Even flatware gets equal rights.

  11. Aidan says:

    Have you been taking samples from Cindy McCain’s medicine cabinet again, Dear?

  12. Jen says:

    And I was thinking that the dream I had last week where Jed Bartlet came to my home to thank me for starting the write in campaign that resulted in him being named President again was odd….
    (I do support the idea of spork marriage — I’ll be sure to mention it to him the next time he shows up in my dreams)

  13. Mauricio says:

    I got really excited when I thought that your dog could be called the DOwaGer Queen. Unfortunately, further research indicated that this is an inappropriate title, since she did not come to power after the death of a husband. She was, rather, a Queen Regnant and subsequently Queen Mother. I’m also curious about the cultural and ethnic diversity of the Underwater BugPlasticFlatware Kingdom. What was the origin of intolerance towards mixed marriages? Do you believe they’ll follow your dog’s parting advice? Did you depart in the opposite direction from the Ugly Bug Horde Enclave? If not, how will you ever proceed safely across their lands, especially if they perceive that your dog once ruled a kingdom that imposed its cultural values on the invading horde?

    So many questions…

  14. Kenny says:

    Faustus: very definitely my day job.

  15. David says:

    I’m betting on an entire bag of M&M’s as the root cause.

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