E.S.’s birthday is tomorrow. Yesterday we had the following exchange.
FAUSTUS: I don’t know what to do. I got you something for your birthday but then I just saw that you already have it.
E.S.: Oh, what is it?
FAUSTUS: That book Forgotten New York. It looked like the kind of thing you would love, so I ordered it from Amazon—
E.S.: —and you just saw it on the shelf in my office.
FAUSTUS: Yes. Well, at least I know it was a good idea.
E.S.: Absolutely. It was a good idea three years ago, too.
FAUSTUS: ?
E.S.: Check the copy on my shelf. There’s an inscription from you.
FAUSTUS: So when I thought I was getting you a good birthday present I was really just illustrating the paucity of my imagination.
E.S.: And the sieve-like nature of your memory.
FAUSTUS: Thanks.
E.S.: Any time.
Isn’t he contractually required to say that as long as he has you he’s already the luckiest man on the planet, so any other gift would be superfluous? Just buy him some socks.
Item the first: You’re lucky to have a guy who can cut you down dryly, with wit and truth, and yet still doesn’t make you feel that bad about it. Item the second: address the paucity of your imagination by alternating forever gifts with consumables. For example, last year, I bought my guy computer RAM for his birthday, and installed it for him. Not romantic, precisely, but badly needed. This year, I got him ‘Punch Brothers’ tickets, along with smaller perma-gifts. The only downside is that I have to watch him drool over Chris Thile tonight at the concert. Oh, yeah… And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, E.S.!!!
You might want to keep a list of gifts given to avoid such a mishap in the future.
@initials: oh man, Chris Thile. That guy could do all sorts of wrong to me and I wouldn’t resist.
happy birthday, e.s.!
(does e.s. stand for “extra special”?)
my birthday is saturday 9/6; age 54, look 40, act 20.
take e.s. to a nice dinner and perhaps a show or something e.s. hasn’t done in a long time.
Wish E.S. a very happy day. Then spend the evening playing Doctor.
God, I love E.S. Does he have a brother?