August 21, 2008

Since I am 1) a writer and 2) very disorganized, I have more than a passing familiarity with the phrase “insufficient funds.”

I usually encounter it, however, in the context of buying clothing, for example, or too many books.

Before this evening I had never encountered it in the grocery store with a basket containing half a pound of chicken, four peaches, an onion, and a bottle of paprika.

This has not been my day.

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19 Responses to Since I am 1) a writer and 2) very disorganized, I have more

  1. Dan says:

    And the worst part is you were paying in cash. Ba-dum bum.

  2. Esther says:

    Incredible what spices cost these days…

  3. mak says:

    I just thank the heavens that ice cream wasn’t involved. Had I known someone out there had been denied ice cream I think I would have cried.

  4. Dan: I have nothing to say.

    Esther: I know! I’m saving up for some ginger.

    mak: If there had been ice cream involved I would be in jail now for stealing it. Or maybe I would just have eaten it in secret in the aisle. Actually that’s not a bad idea.

  5. Kris Bass says:

    Welcome to Kris’ world honey. I happen to be like this year around. And, I’m a bass guitar player.

  6. Andy says:

    When I lived in Zurich I was paid monthly in cash and couldn’t even use credit cards because I had no way to pay them. The plus side was, I always knew exactly how much money I had, but there was no buffer. I remember getting to the end of the month and actually weighing different onions at the grocery store to see which one I could buy with the coins in my pocket. Seriously.

    Dude, forget this whole artistic lifestyle. Sell out and become a secretary and move to the burbs. It’s so worth it.

  7. JamesR says:

    Perhaps one can be gay and live in the burbs but one can not be fabulously gay and live in the burbs. It’s just not done. As for this “insufficient funds” thingy, don’t worry. I’ve encountered it once or twice, Faustus, and this too shall pass.

  8. initials says:

    Herr Doktor, be at peace! You have an awesome man, he’s a Doctor, you’re thin and gorgeous, and wrote a kickin’ book. Plus, each and every time I actually HAVE money in my account, it burps on me embarrassingly in the supermarket. It’s only when I don’t that things seem to go through. I’d think that they liked soaking me for the fees over at the credit union, but they admit their mistakes every time. The lesson?… bankers are idiots.

  9. Andy says:

    Ooooohhhh, JamesR, it’s ON. I am suburban AND fabulous. Exclamation point!

  10. JamesR says:

    Andy: I’m intrigued. I’ve had fabulous friends pair up, buy a home in the burbs, next comes the mini-van (gasp) and then it’s a very slippery slope after that.
    How do you remain fabulous??

  11. Jeffrey says:

    Shouldn’t your other half be springing for such extravagances as peaches?

  12. DanS says:

    Welfare cheese makes YUMMY fondue!

  13. SB says:

    I might know the origin of this black cloud.

    Search for ‘similary’ on this blog.

    I am so, so sorry to have to bring this to your attention.

  14. SB says:

    I might know the origin of this black cloud.

    Search for ‘similary’ on this blog.

    I am so, so sorry to have to bring this to your attention, for I know what it will do to your psyche. And medication, which will likely be expensive.

  15. Kris: Obviously it’s the bass guitar playing that’s doing it. You should switch to ukelele.

    Andy: Why were you buying onions instead of Swiss chocolate?

    JamesR and Andy: Well, living in Brooklyn is sort of like living in the suburbs, so it’s difficult for me to take a position on this.

    initials: Your money burps? You might want to take it to an expert. Or perhaps to your local psych ward.

    Jeffrey: I KNOW!!!

    Dan8: Oooh, now I want to have a fondue party.

    SB: Thank you for your comment. You understand, I’m sure, why I couldn’t allow it to stand. But I do appreciate your input.

  16. Paul says:

    Looks like I’m having the same trouble here. I didn’t even have enough cash for a candy bar!

  17. Paul: Oh, my God. We should form a support group.

  18. Kevin says:

    I always weigh what I buy. Not because I’m obsessive about this particularly, but because I never have enough money. Why pay, say, $1.00 for a little bit of onion when $0.60 will do?

    On another matter, fabulousness comes from inside, not from environment. I live in what could almost be called an exurb of DC/Baltimore, and people I don’t even know recognize flashes of fabulousness. Fab cred is earned with action and soul, not with address.

    ps If I was behind Faustus in line at the store, I’d have gone ahead and bought his groceries for him, understanding his banking mistake. I’ve done that for people a few times, and whether or not it comes back to me somehow, each time I’ve been glad to have spared someone not only embarrassment, but a missed meal.

  19. Kevin: If I’m ever behind you in line I will buy your groceries for you.


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