July 30, 2008

From my new favorite book:

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

My name’s Twiggy, and I’m a stick insect. It’s with great embarrassment that I write to you while copulating, but my mate and I have been copulating for ten weeks already. I’m bored out of my skull, yet he shows no signs of flagging. He says it’s because he’s madly in love with me, but I think he’s just plain mad. How can I get him to quit?

Sick of Sex in India

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I’m a European praying mantis, and I’ve noticed I enjoy sex more if I bit my lovers’ heads off first. It’s because when I decapitate them they go into the most thrilling spasms. Somehow they seem less inhibited, more urgent—it’s fabulous. Do you find this too?

I Like ‘Em Headless in Lisbon

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

My boyfriend is the handsomest golden potto I ever saw. He’s got beautiful golden fur on his back, creamy white fur on his belly, he smells delicious, and he has ever such dainty hands and feet. There’s just one thing. Please, Dr. Tatiana, why is his penis covered with enormous spines?

Spooked in Gabon

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7 Responses to From my new favorite book

  1. Cody says:

    Joel, you didn’t mention that these little lemur-like quadrupeds copulate whilst hanging in a tree; quite a feat! But where did you learn about the penile spines?

  2. Lynn in Tucson says:

    Then surely, surely you’ve seen this:

  3. J.P. says:

    Hmm…these seem to be a page from my dating life… 😉

  4. Andy says:

    I’m pretty sure I chatted with #3 on gay.com.

  5. Christian says:

    Faustus, I think being married is making you go sick in the head about sex. Just sayin.

  6. David says:

    Christian, this has been going an looooooong before ES ever came on the scene.

  7. Jess says:

    Christian has a point, but then, it seems, so does David. 🙂


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