January 1, 2008

When last we saw our heroes, they had yet to answer an important question.

E.S.: Faustus, will you marry me?
(Faustus is overwhelmed.)
E.S.: …
E.S.: That wasn’t a yes.
FAUSTUS: Oh, crap. I’m sorry. Um, y–. Wait, hang on a second, I’ll be right back. (He stands up.)
E.S.: What? Where are you going?
FAUSTUS: Okay, I haven’t been an astrology freak for years and years and years but this is super extra important so I have to go check and make sure the moon isn’t void of course. You stay right there.
(As E.S. stays on bended knee, FAUSTUS leaps over the coffee table, runs into the other room, quickly checks the void-of-course ephemeris online, runs back, leaps over the coffee table again, turns to E.S., and takes his hands.)
FAUSTUS: Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you!
(They embrace.)
FAUSTUS: So what pushed you over the edge?
E.S.: What do you mean?
FAUSTUS: I’ve been nagging you for years to propose to me. What made you finally do it?
E.S.: Oh, every time you said something about it I just figured okay, I’m waiting another month. And then in October I thought gee, he hasn’t mentioned it in like four or five months, I guess I should go get a ring.
FAUSTUS: This better not be my Christmas present.
E.S.: Your shirt is on inside out.

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21 Responses to When last we saw our heroes, they had yet to answer an important

  1. Andy says:

    My Southern Baptist father told me never to get mixed up in astrology; his exact words were, “That’s the hook that Satan gets into you.” (He also wouldn’t let me read fortune cookies.) But then I asked him, “How come the Wise Men followed a star, and what about Luke 21:25, which says, ‘There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars’?” and he said, “That’s different.” So, you know, congratulations.

  2. Lauren says:

    >When last we saw our heroes, they had yet to answer an important question.

    Wait, but my hero is A. I was hoping this post would be about her.

  3. anne marie in philly says:

    (throws confetti) yea! he said yes!

    what a great way to start 2008! congratulations!

  4. Willym says:

    Pops a bottle of champagne. Congratulations. Damn too bad you’re not here to share it with me a very nice Veuve, now I’ll have to drink it all myself.

    Are you going up to Canada to do it?

  5. John says:

    So, why was your shirt inside out? Ohhhhhhhhh. Hmmm. I guess I was thrown by the “a short time later” reference, since I always assumed you and E.S. went at it sweatily for hours at a time, if not days.

  6. Jeff says:

    Many congratulations!

  7. Aidan says:

    Mazel tov u’simil tov. I’m all verklehmpt.

    I noticed you missed the blatant hint about being a bridesmaid. Please note: the sale at the big girl store ends at the end of January. Of course, there’s always the quinceneria store…I’m sure they will have something in my size.

    Congratulations, hunny.

  8. Tami says:

    I second that Mazel Tov!Congratulations! Best wishes to both of you!

  9. Jess says:

    So when is the actual wedding? I assume it will be a black tie affair, so I’ll go dust off my tux!

  10. Lavi Soloway says:

    Mazel Tov!
    Can a baby be far behind?

  11. Chris says:

    Oi vey! Marriage is so meshuga!

    Well I guess if you didn’t heed my advice about a trap, then Mazel Tovs are in order. Mazel Tov!

    I hope you are very happy together. In this marriage, who gets to be the man and who gets to be woman? đŸ˜‰

  12. Lee says:


  13. David says:

    It’s good to know that, marriage proposal or not, the rhythms of your relationship remain firmly in place.

  14. Monica says:

    Yay! I’m so very happy for you.

  15. Jeffrey says:

    Your shirt is on inside out.

    Oh my, he proposed on Backwards Day!

  16. Travis says:

    Congratulations!!!! This is very exciting. đŸ™‚


  17. LKSN says:


  18. JamesR says:


    Congratulations and many, many happy years to you both.

  19. Joe.My.God. says:

    Faustus, did you know that in some places if you accidentally wear your clothes inside-out, it’s supposed to bring you good luck?

    True story.

  20. Andrew says:

    That is all kinds of awesome. Yay! I wish you a long lifetime of joy together.

    (If the Knitting Nancies ever have another meeting you should totally bring magazines and we’ll pick out table centerpieces or something.)

  21. Eric says:

    Oh yay! So adorable.
    Also, I’ve figured it out. You two are like the gay version of Calvin and Hobbes.
    Only cuter and smarter.
    And one of you is not, you know, a stuffed tiger.


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