June 27, 2007

One day, when I was twelve, my mother walked in on me masturbating to The Love Boat.

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13 Responses to One day, when I was twelve, my mother walked in on me masturbating

  1. richie says:

    That only begs the question, what about The Love Boat caught your fancy. :) (Alas, I am too young to have actually watched an episode of TLB.)

  2. crossoverman says:

    “Exciting and new… *come* aboard, we’re expecting you!”

  3. John says:

    Oh, god. Please tell me it wasn’t Gopher in those little white shorts that got you all hot and bothered.

  4. TED says:

    One can but pray that the episode in question was not one with Ethel Merman as a guest star.

  5. David says:

    I’m going to guess it was Doc, as Bernie Kopell was clearly the stud of the ship.

  6. Kevin says:

    I don’t think they were literally telling you to “come aboard.”

    (New reader. Actor/director. Thought I’d take a look around. Hope you don’t mind.)

  7. tim says:

    OH. MY. GAWD.

  8. adam875 says:

    Who was the guest star?

  9. John, TED, David, and adam875, alas, I remember neither the subject of my masturbatory fantasy nor the guest star. There are some memories over which the veil is better left unlifted.

  10. Jeffrey says:

    It was Charo, wasn’t it?

  11. Andy says:

    alas, I remember neither the subject of my masturbatory fantasy nor the guest star

    It’s a safe bet it wasn’t Charo.

  12. The F-AF says:

    I can’t believe that no one remembers Ted McGinley as photographer Ashley “Ace” Covington Evans.

    Clearly, he was the object of your self-desire.

  13. dan renzi says:

    I was once in a play where two men simulated sexual intercourse, whilst a female impersonator stood above them lip syncing Mariah Carey’s “Hero.”

    I always considered that to be the gayest event in human history.

    You choking your chicken to the erotic glory of The Love Boat…that trumps it in spades. Congratulations.

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