Any comment on my part would be superfluous.
(Click on the image to read the article.)
492 years of military neutrality down the tubes in one fell swoop! You would think that the swiss military would be able to use a compass better than that.
“Honey, wake up. I think we’re being invaded.”
“Invaded? By whom?”
“You’ll never believe this, but I think it’s the Swiss.”
“The Swiss? They have an army?”
“Well… did they bring chocolate?”
You’ll note that the first letters of each word in the headline spell out “SAIL.” Given that the story is preposterous on its face, it is clear that someone is trying to send a message. The most likely explanation is that the headline was meant to be a directive to some alien race, who may now begin the invastion.
They had likely missed the headline everywhere else. By posting it here, you have achieved your goal of destroying civilization as we know it.
On the plus side, the aliens — who are all buff, have twelve-inch cocks, and are students of animated movies of the late 20th century — want to make you their bitch.
Sadly, they have not yet mastered the ability to travel faster than light, so that by the time the message reaches them and they, in turn, reach here, you will have long since died.
Easy come, easy go.
I’d be inclined to agree with Jeffrey, apart from the fact that, as I understand it, any invasion that followed offering chocolate to Faustus never could be described remotely as “accidental.” “Enthusiastic” perhaps. “Accidental”? Not so much.
Isn’t “Liechtenstein” German for “no, the other right”?
Would love to say that having discovered your blog I have also rediscovered hope in surviving the human condition. Generally feeling it unnecessary to lie, however, I will discard said homage for simple declaration that because of you I now narrate my life in Haikus. Unsure whether to love you or hate you for that, especially since the quality of my Haikus shall never live up to yours. Either way, I will continue lighting candles in your honour.
Gosh! I hope the little devil is all right (or on holiday in St Bart’s). I mean, nary a peep out of him for 5 days. I, for one, am having major withdrawal symptoms.
I’m pretty sure that the advance guard of the alien invasion has taken him for their own nefarious purposes. We should try to be happy for him.
I thought Peter Sellers was dead!!
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