January 6, 2007

Today I taught my first Total Body Conditioning class of 2007. I am always a very enthusiastic and supportive Total Body Conditioning instructor, but this morning, in an effort to inspire my students to new levels of exertion, I pulled out all the stops. I used words like “fabulous” and “gorgeous” and “brilliant” even more than I usually do, and the class seemed to be responding as I had hoped.

Then I actually said–I am not making this up–“Come on! It’s a new year, it’s a new you!”

As soon as the words left my mouth I was horrified. “I can’t believe I actually just said that,” I said, and the class, evidently able to see through the enthusiasm and support to the acidic, rotting heart at my core, laughed heartily. Then I made them promise on pain of death never to tell anyone what had just happened.

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12 Responses to Today I taught my first Total Body Conditioning class of 2007

  1. tim says:

    As a fellow instructor, I am embarassed for you. As a fellow instructor who is also a friend, I can no longer speak to you. A new year, a new you?!?!?!??!?!?! Oy.

  2. Keith G says:

    Which is where this blog comes in nice and handy… now the whole world can know!

  3. will says:

    “Then I made them promise on pain of death never to tell anyone what had just happened.”

    After which, you proceeded to tell the 372,691 people who read your blog.

  4. Helen says:

    Look on the bright side, honey…you’re now one giant step closer to the title of Gayest Person Ever. Bravo.

  5. Eric says:

    I just called every single person in my address book and told them, too.
    WE laughed and laughed into our cheesecake-filled mouths.

  6. Daniel says:

    Well, it may be acidic at the core, but it’s a sweet and sentimental kind of acidity. These distinctions matter.

  7. John says:

    “Butcha DID, Blanche! Ya DID say, ‘It’s a new year, it’s a new you!’ ”

    *puff, puff*

  8. David says:

    “It’s a new year, it’s a new you!”

    It’s an old saw.

    Remind me not to entrust you with any of my secrets. Oh, wait.

  9. Astroboy says:

    LOL. Best post of the year yet.

  10. chris says:

    total body conditioning instructor? wow. im impressed.

  11. henry says:

    The shame. It is beyond words. Your path is now pre-determined: next year at the same time you’ll do it again and actually BELIEVE it.

    Repent! Repent!

  12. copperred says:

    So blogging it is like self-flagellation then?

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