November 27, 2006
On Thanksgiving it transpired that I had unwittingly bought myself an item E.S. had intended to give me as a Christmas gift. Last night we had the following conversation:
E.S.: So what should I give you for Christmas now that you ruined my idea?
FAUSTUS: I don't know.
E.S.: I'll give you a dozen roses.
FAUSTUS: Will they be made of gold?
E.S.: Roses aren't made of gold.
FAUSTUS: These ones better be, if they're what you're giving me for Christmas.
E.S.: Why are you so materialistic?
FAUSTUS: Because things are wonderful.
E.S.: What about our love?
FAUSTUS: Well, that's nice too.
E.S.: Isn't that enough?
FAUSTUS: It's enough for love. But I want love and things.
E.S.: That's it. I'm getting you something from the lump of coal catalogue.
Posted by Faustus, MD at 06:16 AM
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Comments
1) Paul said (on 11/27/06 at 06:48 AM):
Make sure that coal has a ribbon of gold.
2) anapestic said (on 11/27/06 at 08:20 AM):
Willing as I generally am to suspend disbelief, I am nonetheless having great difficulty accepting the notion that your response to "What should I give you?" would ever be "I don't know."
3) Anono Blogger said (on 11/27/06 at 01:30 PM):
Christmas gifts? I thought you were jewish... :-)
A.B.
4) Smurch said (on 11/27/06 at 01:37 PM):
And then you had sex?
5) David said (on 11/27/06 at 05:32 PM):
Smurch wins.
6) Yen said (on 11/28/06 at 07:09 AM):
These conversation snippets are hilarious. I love them.
7) Todd Gocken said (on 11/28/06 at 10:11 AM):
My advice:
1)go to http://store.elkhorninnwv.com/muletrain.html
get YOURSELF something from the "Lump of Coal Catalogue", thus spoiling his gift a second time2)Refrain from buying something for yourself for the next month, but go shopping with E.S. and say "OOOOH this is REALLY NICE!!!" a lot.
3) remind him that you are Jewish, but are willing to celebrate Christmas if he agrees to celebrate Hannukkah . . . all 8 nights.
8) Jeffrey said (on 11/28/06 at 11:41 AM):
Coal is the new black, you know.
9) goblinbox said (on 11/30/06 at 11:01 PM):
I'm not falling for the "I don't know" line, either.
10) XLibris ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.joelderfner.com/blog/nav-commenters.gif)
said (on 12/ 1/06 at 01:04 PM):
"These ones" ?! Say it isn't so. My hero of grammar and syntax just toppled from his pedestal.
11) Elisse Goldstein-Clark said (on 12/15/06 at 04:10 PM):
Re: your lumps of coal... In surfing, I just found the post that has a link to our bed-and-breakfast's gift shop page (Elkhorn Inn & Theatre www.elkhorninnwv.com) and I am delighted! No idea who Todd is, but kudos to him! Whatever your fest of choice, that's what we've got here in so. WV in abundance: lumps o' coal- so you now know where to come when you two REALLY want to "get away from it all"! And as for coal being the "new black"- it's always been a "classic" down here in The Nation's Coal Bin. As in NYC, we wear a lot of it 'cause it ain't only chic, it don't show dirt. I fully intend to mix the coal dust that settles on our windowsills in with some paint and market it as an "Appalachian Textured Paint Finish"... :-)
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