I fully intended to march in the Pride parade yesterday, I really did.
But after teaching an aerobics class I was so tired I fell asleep and then my boyfriend and I assembled our new reproduction Victorian four-poster bed and then I went to a party at which I got paid to dance naked and play with my penis for four hours while strange men groped me and put cash in my socks until I ejaculated.
I’m sorry I’m a bad homosexual.
Not at all, dear boy, you are just……different.
PS – are you growing a moustache?
Also, don’t you get callouses if you play with your penis for 4 hours?
BAH that makes you the perfect homosexual.
it is pride weekend, so be proud of socks full of dollars!
Nonsense; you are a fabulous homosexual. I just want to know if it was the groping or the socks full of cash that ultimately got you off.
That would make for an evocative “missed connection” on Craig’s List.
I think there are better ways to raise money for apartment renovations, but then what do I know?
Was it a “come as you are” party?
Once again, I renew my tired call for photographic backup. Isn’t that what blogs are for?
Is this how all best-selling haiku authors make money on the side?
this is what you have to do if you touch it too much.
i heard it helps.
Next time you go to a bar, only have your underwear on.
When the barman asks “Who the fcuk are you?” answer “I’m a premature ejaculation.”
When he asks why, tell him “I’ve just come in my pants*.”
* that’s what we Brits call what you wear under your trousers.
If I didn’t know better (and I don’t), I’d say that the combination of a new four-poster bed and the statement “I’m a bad homosexual” means that somebody wants to be punished.
I don’t get the joke about the trousers.
Campbell: Calluses, no. Chafing, most definitely. Ouch.
stevie: I am. Believe me, I am.
Andrew: Actually, it was the fact that it was 3:00 in the morning and I was desperate to go home and sleep.
Roy: I have been avoiding Missed Connections ever since for just that reason.
David: Trust me, with the renovations we need to do, I’d be dancing until the age of 78.
Joe: Email me and I will send you photos. You won’t be disappointed.
heather d: I wouldn’t have minded if some of the patrons had actually done that.
Mr. D.: Ha!
anapestic: I’d answer your question but my hands and feet are naturally tied to the bed.
Roy: Premature ejaculation? Just came in my underwear? Get it?
I had no idea having cash stuffed in one’s socks could have such a happy ending.
Wow, Faustus! Would you send me the picutres, too?!? Yippee!
Hmm, while you’re at it, just cc me on your e-mail to Joe as well.
Socks. So *that’s* where they stick the tips — because, you know, I was worried there for a second….
I think it’s clear that we all think you’re the BEST homosexual!
of course I agree you’re the best, but, regardless of the question of good or bad, I must say that between the four-poster and the, uh, other activities, you are indisputably a practicing homosexual. 😉
congrats on the house; sorry I’ve been AWOL.