June 26, 2006
I fully intended to march in the Pride parade yesterday, I really did.
But after teaching an aerobics class I was so tired I fell asleep and then my boyfriend and I assembled our new reproduction Victorian four-poster bed and then I went to a party at which I got paid to dance naked and play with my penis for four hours while strange men groped me and put cash in my socks until I ejaculated.
I'm sorry I'm a bad homosexual.
Posted by Faustus, MD at 08:01 AM
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Comments
1) campbell said (on 06/26/06 at 08:48 AM):
Not at all, dear boy, you are just......different.
C
PS - are you growing a moustache?
2) campbell said (on 06/26/06 at 08:55 AM):
Also, don't you get callouses if you play with your penis for 4 hours?
3) stevie said (on 06/26/06 at 09:01 AM):
bad?
BAH that makes you the perfect homosexual.
it is pride weekend, so be proud of socks full of dollars!
-stevie
http://chaos.typepad.com
4) Andrew said (on 06/26/06 at 10:12 AM):
Nonsense; you are a fabulous homosexual. I just want to know if it was the groping or the socks full of cash that ultimately got you off.
5) Roy said (on 06/26/06 at 10:43 AM):
That would make for an evocative "missed connection" on Craig's List.
6) David said (on 06/26/06 at 12:05 PM):
I think there are better ways to raise money for apartment renovations, but then what do I know?
Was it a "come as you are" party?
7) Joe said (on 06/26/06 at 04:46 PM):
Once again, I renew my tired call for photographic backup. Isn't that what blogs are for?
8) Jeffrey said (on 06/26/06 at 05:25 PM):
Is this how all best-selling haiku authors make money on the side?
9) heather d said (on 06/26/06 at 06:02 PM):
this is what you have to do if you touch it too much.
i heard it helps.
10) Mr.D. ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.joelderfner.com/blog/nav-commenters.gif)
said (on 06/27/06 at 07:58 AM):
Next time you go to a bar, only have your underwear on.
When the barman asks "Who the fcuk are you?" answer "I'm a premature ejaculation."
When he asks why, tell him "I've just come in my pants*."
* that's what we Brits call what you wear under your trousers.
11) anapestic said (on 06/27/06 at 12:47 PM):
If I didn't know better (and I don't), I'd say that the combination of a new four-poster bed and the statement "I'm a bad homosexual" means that somebody wants to be punished.
12) Roy said (on 06/27/06 at 01:52 PM):
I don't get the joke about the trousers.
13) Faustus, M.D. said (on 06/27/06 at 01:58 PM):
Campbell: Calluses, no. Chafing, most definitely. Ouch.
stevie: I am. Believe me, I am.
Andrew: Actually, it was the fact that it was 3:00 in the morning and I was desperate to go home and sleep.
Roy: I have been avoiding Missed Connections ever since for just that reason.
David: Trust me, with the renovations we need to do, I'd be dancing until the age of 78.
Joe: Email me and I will send you photos. You won't be disappointed.
Jeffrey: Yes.
heather d: I wouldn't have minded if some of the patrons had actually done that.
Mr. D.: Ha!
anapestic: I'd answer your question but my hands and feet are naturally tied to the bed.
Roy: Premature ejaculation? Just came in my underwear? Get it?
14) goblinbox said (on 06/27/06 at 03:38 PM):
I had no idea having cash stuffed in one's socks could have such a happy ending.
15) Kieran said (on 06/28/06 at 05:46 AM):
Wow, Faustus! Would you send me the picutres, too?!? Yippee!
16) Jeffrey said (on 06/28/06 at 12:59 PM):
Hmm, while you're at it, just cc me on your e-mail to Joe as well.
Socks. So *that's* where they stick the tips -- because, you know, I was worried there for a second....
17) Sparky said (on 06/28/06 at 01:45 PM):
I think it's clear that we all think you're the BEST homosexual!
18) birdfarm said (on 06/29/06 at 02:40 AM):
of course I agree you're the best, but, regardless of the question of good or bad, I must say that between the four-poster and the, uh, other activities, you are indisputably a practicing homosexual. ;-)
congrats on the house; sorry I've been AWOL.
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