June 17, 2006

My dog A. was fine when she spent her time shuttling back and forth between E.S.’s 396-square-foot apartment and my 815-square-foot apartment. Now that she lives in a house, however, she seems to be finding life very confusing and a little bit lonely–sometimes we are on one floor, for example, and she is on another, and she doesn’t know what the world is coming to.

So we’ve decided to get her a little brother or sister.

A. is a Maltese; at first, E.S. wanted to get another Maltese. “No,” I said, “because inevitably one of them will be cuter and we’ll love that one more and the other one less, and I can’t have that.” E.S. claimed not to understand what I was talking about, but I was adamant, so eventually he relented. We considered other breeds and ended up deciding on a Yorkie. Then yesterday E.S. and I had the following conversation:

E.S.: I’ve been thinking, maybe instead of a Yorkie we should get an Italian greyhound.
FAUSTUS: But you said a Yorkie.
E.S.: But one of the new pet therapy dogs in the hospital is an Italian greyhound and it’s so cute.
FAUSTUS: But I don’t want an Italian greyhound.
E.S.: But it was so cute.
FAUSTUS: Too bad. You already said a Yorkie, so we have to get a Yorkie.
E.S.: That’s very concrete of you.
FAUSTUS: What do you mean by that?
E.S.: “You said X, so we have to do X.” That’s a pretty inflexible position.
FAUSTUS: Have I ever done anything that led you to believe I was in any way flexible at all?
FAUSTUS: I mean other than physically.
E.S.: Damn.
FAUSTUS: A Yorkie it is, then.

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13 Responses to My dog A

  1. I have a Yorkie, so I fully agree with you. They are small, playful, highly energetic and the cutest things in the world. Just don’t get one of the yappers. Mine is no yapper, which is what makes him great. Some of them are really high strung. And only one high strung person per household I say.


  2. KipEsquire says:

    We expect lots of photoblogging…

  3. Michael says:

    You two are so cute, it’s almost nauseating. It helps to have heroes…

  4. Chris says:

    that was so bitchy i could almost swear you had a vagina.

  5. Uncle Zoloft says:

    No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

    If you have a Maltese you must, by order of the Maltese and the Gay Handbook, get another Maltese.

    We have two. They are perfect together. They understand each other ~ like when they raid the bathroom and we find toilet paper from one end of the house to another.

    Don’t worry about which one will be “cuter” the breed does not allow that type of human sh!t to happen. One will be cuter and the other will have permanent claim to your head in bed.

    You will often catch them sleeping together and think you have one dog with two heads.

    If you have a male get a female – if a female get a male. Maltese can be bitches with their own sex; it’s always “who’s top dog.” With both sexes you, and they, get balance.

    I would think twice about bringing another breed in. Maltese are very smart and crafty ~ they will find a way to make a dog of another breed neurotic. Don’t bring a cat into the mix. Cats will leave dead things and feces for the Maltese to eat.

    Our little girl can now say several words: “Hello” “no” and “I want to go to New England.” She also likes vodka and fresh crabmeat ~ try getting that out of a Yorkie.

    And last, but not least, Maltese don’t shed. Which means you take take their hair – spin it into yarn – and make an unusual G-string for your dancing gigs.

  6. David says:

    I say to have a blog election process between 1) A maltese, 2) An Italian greyhound, and 3) A malamute. The malamute is the dark horse in this contest.

  7. David says:

    i would go with the italian greyhound. they are cute and social and affectionate. great dogs for multi dog households because they apparently were bred just for companionship and so they love to have other dogs and people around. and the visual contrast would be nice because they are so airy and streamlined.

  8. Jeffrey says:

    I’d ditch the second dog idea altogether and just tie a bell around the collar you make E.S. wear. When A hears the bell ring, those little feet will come running to the right floor of the house.

  9. David says:

    A Yorkie.


    You do love cliches, don’t you.

  10. Anonymous says:

    One guide for dog breeds says: “These little dogs should not be over-protected, for they may become neurotic.”

    Is that why love them?

  11. helga says:

    That’s sweet of you to get A a companion. I would’ve just gotten her a chewtoy.

  12. Ruby says:

    I agree with Anono Blogger. Yorkies are an excellent breed. It’s hard not to be cheerful when they’re around 😀

    But I’ve never had an encounter with an Italian greyhound so I can’t really tell you which one is better.

    Lol, why don’t you get both, a Yorkie and an Italian greyhound?

  13. Will says:

    Maybe this will change your mind?

    I have always been obsesses with Iggies… They are by far the cutest things ever.

    — W


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