March 30, 2006

I have spent this morning sitting at my desk with peanut butter in my hair rewriting my personal trainer’s college paper on muscle-fiber types.

I suppose there aren’t really limits to what one will do with the double incentive of a free training session and having fallen asleep with gum in one’s mouth.

Sugar-free, naturally, but still.

Somehow I always thought I would amount to something slightly greater than this.

The contest deadline is tomorrow night at midnight, wherever your time zone is.

Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to I have spent this morning sitting at my desk with peanut butter

  1. anapestic says:

    Is the peanut butter for shine or body?

  2. Adam875 says:

    If you fell asleep with gum in your mouth, how did the peanut butter get there? Did the gum throw a party?

  3. David says:

    At least you weren’t smoking in bed, although judging from some of you past posts…

  4. goblinbox says:

    By “re-writing,” do you mean re-writing or just a light edit? Because re-writing is practically cheating. And peanut butter doesn’t really work. Glad you didn’t choke to death in your sleep.

  5. chris says:

    only one free session?! thats not a fair deal.

    anyhoo, is he really hot? does he have a huge bulge in his crotch? cos i bet he is and does cos otherwise you wouldnt like do stuff for him 😛

  6. Go-Go Boy says:

    I can’t believe how great this blog is, Joel! You’re super!

  7. Uncle Zoloft says:

    peanut butter????? honey you should remember what the school nurse always used – ice – freeze it off.

  8. Aidan says:

    “There’s gotta be something better than this…” isn’t that a number from Sweet Charity? Hmmm…now there’s a revival I’d pay $125 to see! “And in the role of lovelorn taxi dancer Charity Hope Valentine, Mr. Joel Derfner!” Please do us one favor, tho. If you are looking for inspiration, find it in Gwen Verdon or Shirley MacLaine, Not Christina Applegate.

  9. Lizzabette says:


    Thank you for the contest….it will add to my journal for my creative writing class.

    As I have nothing better to do today at work, I will work on an entry for the contest!

    As for falling asleep with gum in my mouth, I did that when I was five….becuase I thought it’d be neat to see if I could chew gum in my sleep.

  10. Ruby says:

    Um…How did the peanut butter get there?

    I wonder what E.S. has to say 😀


  11. Oana says:

    I think instead of peanut butter chocolate would go better…You really made me smile…This blog is great, it gives me so much fun!

  12. Craig says:

    Damn it! I can’t believe I missed the contest! 🙁

  13. You know, I hear mayonnaise works wonders too, plus you can always make up an interesting story on how you got white stuff in your hair 😉



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *