January 26, 2006

From The Essential Guide to Becoming a Flight Attendant, by Kiki Ward:

“Some airline interviews will involve role playing scenarios. . . . Following are some common scenarios you may hear in your airline interview along with an appropriate response.

“Scenario: A passenger is holding very tightly to an urn containing her mothers ashes and will not fit into the overhead, she is quite protective of it and fearful it could get broken. How would you handle the situation?

“Response: With great compassion relate to the passenger that safety regulations prohibit her from holding the urn for takeoff and landing. Explain that you will carefully place the urn in a safe, secure area for flight. Once you are in the air and the Captain has turned off the seatbelt sign and it is safe to move about the cabin, the passenger may then check on the urn if possible, and you will also continue to monitor the safety of the urn throughout the flight.”

See, I knew there was a reason I could never be a flight attendant. It’s that whole “with great compassion” thing.

Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to From The Essential Guide to Becoming a Flight Attendant, by Kiki

  1. Adam875 says:

    Yeah, that’s the only reason.

  2. anapestic says:

    It doesn’t say that the compassion has to be genuine.

    Better reason: polyester uniforms.

  3. Joe says:

    I assume none of the flight attendants I’ve dealt with have read this book.

  4. Mr.D. says:

    Tell her to open her window when you’ve reached 35,000 feet and give the deceased the adrenaline rush of a lifetime?

  5. Jeffrey says:

    Honey, I think it’s called “acting.” Or “blatant insincerity.” I’m sure you can pull off either of those. I mean, you *do* live in New York.

  6. I have only been a flight attendant for a couple months, but the great compassion is something you quickly learn to fake… then you chuck the urn in the Overhead Bin and forget about it.

  7. David says:

    If only it had suggested “with great condescension” or “with great irritation,” eh?

  8. Bhoygary says:

    Just what I don’t get is why on earth would anyone read “The Essential Guide to Becoming a Flight Attendant”, by Kiki Ward?

  9. i. bendito says:

    For similar reasons I knew I should never get a job waiting tables.

    But in a restaurant you at least retain the ability to go home after to tell your customer off.

  10. rob7534 says:

    I thought that was supposed to be a joke. I figured the response would be along the lines of, “Honey, there is nothing you can do, she’s already dead!”

    I somehow doubt the flight attendants working for ATA have been administered this test. They are the rudest bitches on the planet. Both on flight, and behind the counter at check-in!

  11. Andy says:

    Actually, I’ve always kind of wanted to be a flight attendant, except that every time I fly I’m reminded that I have nearly zero patience with children and people who can’t figure out that incredibly complex system where 1A is the window and 1C is the aisle.

  12. iya says:

    eeek. so i can’t be a flight attendant either. haha

  13. Ruby says:

    When I read this post, all I could think of is “who would ever want to read this book?!”

    Now I want to ask you, why did you read this book?!

  14. angelcjr says:

    I hate flying and all that is associated with it.

  15. Fiona says:

    Passing this along to my favorite Bitch Flight Attendant – I just know she’ll laugh her ass-ets off about the “compassionate response requirement” 🙂

  16. Yeah, it’s tough. Eventually you develop a “work” personality and grin and bear it. This works for some people, but for others it’s the ticking timebomb syndrome. I do find the job rewarding sometimes, but I prob will not do it forever.
    – Sarah


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *