January 12, 2006

Today I am 33 years old.

Thanks, everybody, for your birthday wishes.

In honor of the occasion, here is a poem, by someone named Dan Skwire.

Voice Mail Villanelle

We’re grateful that you called today
And sorry that we’re occupied.
We will be with you right away.

Press one if you would like to stay,
Press two if you cannot decide.
We’re grateful that you called today.

Press three to end this brief delay,
Press four if you believe we’ve lied.
We will be with you right away.

Press five to hear some music play,
Press six to speak with someone snide.
We’re grateful that you called today.

Press seven if your hair’s turned gray,
Press eight if you’ve already died.
We will be with you right away.

Press nine to hear recordings say
That service is our greatest pride.
We’re grateful that you called today.
We will be with you right away.

Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Today I am 33 years old

  1. Jess says:

    Happy Birthday!

    (And check your e-mail, young man. We sent you a thing or three.) ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Happy Birthday Faustus!

    Have a Gay Old Time!


  3. David says:

    And today you are a man.

    Oh wait, that’s the 13th birthday, not the 33rd.

    But what’s two decades amongst friends? Mazel tov!

  4. Kenny says:

    Happy Birthday! You share the day with my most beloved grandpa; he is 83 today. A special day, indeed!

  5. mak says:

    Happy, happy birthday. Let me know where you’ll be so I can deliver your 33 spankings.

  6. bpbc says:

    I’m a phone drone, so that poem speaks right to my heart, man.

  7. Simon says:

    Happy birthday, good sir! Hopefully you get many presents from ES to make up for that Christmasy debacle.

  8. tim says:

    Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Faustus. Happy Birthday to you. Mwah.

  9. Ruby says:

    Happy Birthday!

    You are the only 33 year old I know who still looks like 23.

  10. Uncle Zoloft says:

    To Ruby:
    You know Faustus is our very own Puck.

  11. Logan says:


    It’s sort of sad that the world is going to end before I ever reach that age, but then again, I guess it won’t be such a bad thing considering that my thirty-third birthday would be the saddest day of my life.

    Happy birthday, nonetheless.

  12. Scott says:

    Yay! Birthdays rock. Don’t forget to eat your cake.

  13. Pam says:

    Happy belated birthday.

  14. raph says:

    ♪mon cher faustus,

    c’est à ton tour

    de te laisser

    parler d’amour.♪

    happy belated birthday!

  15. Mark says:

    Happy Birthday. I have nothing to add to the celebration, but I was at a party recently and the host had Gay Haiku sitting on his coffe table. I did an “OMG I read his blog.” No one was impressed, but I spent five minutes feeling superior to everyone in the room. It didn’t get me laid, but we all agreed that the book was brilliant. Happy Birthday from Michigan.

  16. Kenny says:

    Does no one else think that mere possession of “Gay Haiku” should get you laid? Especially if you also read the blog?

  17. Thank you, everybody, for your birthday wishes. Mark, next time you should claim to have had sex with me. I promise to back you up if anybody emails me and asks. (And also to aver that you were the best I’ve ever had.)

  18. chris says:

    wow you used ‘aver’ and i knew what it meant. yay me! ๐Ÿ˜€ As your birthday present I will endeavour to move your haiku book from the back shelf to the naked men section in my local gay bookshop. This will mean lots of aussie men will think of you and hot naked men at the same time.



  19. coolbuddha says:

    Buddha found enlightenment at 33 (ish), when he was sitting under a tree and an apple fell on his head. Only to pop up 30 years later in the ‘Da Vinci Code’. Nurse!

  20. Patrick (the other one) says:

    happy b-day… the age of re-birth

    what could you be re-born as? The mind shudders, the heart murmurs.

  21. MichaelNewfoundland says:

    Good stuff…

  22. Mush says:

    Happy Birthday, you!

  23. Mephistopheles says:

    Faustus I have just discovered you blog and after a week I am addicted. Furiously funny and a propos. Come and see me in Paris (not Texas)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *