December 21, 2005

I am dealing with the New York City transit strike by having gone to Chicago before it started. True, Chicago is very, very cold, but I bought a down jacket and boots before I left, so I am toasty and have access to working public transportation.

Everyone in Chicago talks funny. I mean, they really do talk like people talk when they’re imitating Chicago accents. I always assumed that was made up, but it’s not.

What is made up is the idea that people in Chicago, because they talk funny, are also all fresh-faced and naive and innocent. In fact, they are just as annoying and awful as people in New York. Yesterday I had a fifty-minute ride on public transportation, and the annoying girl sitting five feet behind me would not shut the fuck up in her funny accent. “Don’t you feel powerful?” she asked her companion loudly. “I feel so powerful. Like I could just kill somebody.” I wished E.S. were with me, so he could diagnose her. She said it again about twenty minutes later. “Don’t you feel powerful? I feel so powerful. Like I could just kill somebody.”

Me, too, I wanted to say. But to do so would have required unfastening the hood contraption on my jacket that keeps my face from freezing off by allowing only my eyes to peek out from inside its shadowy depths, so instead I held my tongue.

Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I am dealing with the New York City transit strike by having

  1. Mush says:

    I’m from the Northwest and I thought all accents were made-up. But then I went to Georgia. And Chicago. And Boston. And Brooklyn.

  2. Jess says:

    Any chance for a photo of you in that hood? I bet it’s adorable. 🙂

  3. raph says:

    couldn’t you have held her tongue instead? or would that have required you taking off your gloves?

  4. Mr.D. says:

    Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

    Like the new format, mate!

  5. Yes. I feel powerful. And I will kill you.

    Although I did have great sex last time I was in Chicago so I have fond memories.

  6. mcm says:

    I’ve lived in Chicago for 2/3 of my life (raised here from the age of 2)… and people say I sound Canadian. Go figure.

    And welcome to Chicago, we’re glad to have you, and sorry that, yes, people here can be pains in the ass as much as anywhere else. Also, though, glad you got here after the below-zero wind chills left town, ’cause they sucked!…

  7. Mush: Too bad you’ve never been to South Carolina.

    raph: I’m sure it was infected with something unpleasant. At the very least her cooties.

    Mr. D.: Thank you, mate!

    Brian: I always knew you would be the death of me. Too bad you never took me up on my offer.

    mcm: Unfortunately, I’m going to be here for a few weeks, so I expect the below-zero wind chills could very well return before I leave.

  8. michelle says:

    Congrats on missing the entire transit strike.

    Although you must have a little regret. After all, it would have made for a good post.

    Or maybe I’m the only blog-slut here…

  9. I have lived in Chicago ALL my life and have no idea what accent you are referring to. 😉

  10. James says:

    Chicagolanders have accents? That’s news to this midwesterner.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *