There is so very much wrong with the world, and so many things great and small that I can do nothing about, and even if I could I wouldn’t have the faintest idea where to begin, and so much is beyond my control and my comprehension that it’s depressing even to contemplate.
On the plus side, today I weighed under 140 pounds for the first time in months.
Under 140 pounds? You’re teensy. Wee. Now I’m picturing you in a room with a giant spool and a huge paper clip.
Under 140 pounds? For heaven’s sake, eat something!
It’s okay, I’m short.
Reconciling yourself with the world’s general imperfectability is overrated. You go, girl.
Small, well formed and good company. Have you met my budgie? And you sound cute as well.
Congrats…you now weigh the same as one of my legs!
So you’ve lost weight? I guess a billion pounds of chocolate can be slimming after all. Go to town.
i’ve always wondered how tall u are to be so light-weight??? hmmm.
so what you’re saying, basically, is that it all balances out?
You’re officially ‘handheld model-sized’ at only a buck forty. You tiny thing!
*insert pocket gay comment here*