September 1, 2005

E.S.’s birthday is this Sunday, and I have been secretly planning to take him on a picnic. It should be taken as a measure of my dedication to this man that I have intended this picnic to take place in Brooklyn.

However, E.S. revealed to me today that his parents are coming into town for his birthday and will be taking us out to their favorite Turkish restaurant. “I wish you’d told me,” I said crossly.

“What do you mean?” he said. “I was talking to them on the phone about it two days ago right in front of you.”

“Oh, was that when you were shrieking at the top of your lungs while I was trying to catch up on back episodes of Six Feet Under?

I told him about the picnic, and we decided to have it on Monday instead. “The one problem,” I pointed out, “is that the cupcakes I was going to get Saturday night from Sweet Sugar Sunshine would be dry and crusty by Monday. So we can’t have cupcakes.”

E.S. looked disappointed. “We can’t get them Monday morning?”

“Closed for Labor Day.”

His face brightened. “Maybe I could get a sexy redhead to bake me some cupcakes for my birthday.”

I was already going to go to Brooklyn; I wasn’t about to bake cupcakes too. “Where are you going to find somebody like that?” I asked, one eyebrow raised in scorn.

He looked at me as if this were the stupidest question on earth. “Duh. On the internet, of course.”

“Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll be celebrating your birthday with Trainer Bob.”

Then we went back to his place and looked at apartments to rent together.

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15 Responses to E.S.’s birthday is this Sunday,

  1. Bleary says:

    Six Feet Under, cupcakes, Trainer Bob, apartments to rent together – stories like that always make me weepy!

  2. It’s definitely true love.
    So sweet.

  3. matt says:

    you bake cupcakes, too?

  4. Chris says:

    Not specifically commenting on this post…

    but has anyone noticed that Faustus’s neurotic emotional instabilities are very similar to David Sedaris’s neurotic emotional instabilities?

    Just a thought 😀

  5. anapestic says:

    Cupcakes aren’t really all that much work. Go ahead and make him some.

  6. Jeffrey says:

    Or you could just have sex with him–much less calories than cupcakes.

  7. David says:

    My God, you two are made for each other. What a relief for the rest of us.

    And anapestic is right, cupcakes are very simple to make. You can even make your own frosting, too. Some good simple recipes are at

  8. Elliott says:

    Cupcakes… how pathetic.

  9. PeeWee says:

    Dude, get the cupcakes at Joe in Greenwich Village. Amy Sedaris makes them herself.
    Here is a review:

  10. PeeWee says:

    okay, I obviously don’t know how to make that a link, but I know cupcakes!

  11. birdfarm says:

    Out here in the stix, a million miles away from Joe in Greenwich Village, we use Betty Crocker for cupcakes. Put something extra in, like sour cream or chocolate chips or something, and it’s quite passable.

    Happy birthday to E.S.!

    Wait, you’re going to rent an apartment together?! Congratulations! Sheesh, almost missed that in the cupcake flurry….

  12. Rocqui says:

    You are going to make the cupcakes, right? Because I’d be worried about how many other sexy redheads E.S. knows.

    (And congrats on the impending cohabitation!)

  13. Shape says:

    Sunday is my brithday too. And I’m not getting cupcakes either *sigh*

    Unless I make them, that is.

  14. Marc says:

    Oh, stop being such a bitch and bake him the cupcakes. After all, you’re going to have to live with him (and I mean cohabitate, not just deal) after. Do you really want “and you never baked those cupcakes for my birthday back then” hanging over your head??!!

    Surely you of all people would have already (over) analyzed this to know!


  15. Mush says:

    Internet should be capitalized. And congrats on deciding to cohabitate!


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