August 29, 2005

It is I, Faustus. I have returned. I’m glad to see that the person who writes more like me than I do has kept you entertained.

I was at Camp Camp, in Middle of Nowhere, Maine. The first day, I was practicing my routine for the aerobics classes I was going to teach, and when I went over to check the steps I had written down, I found some sticky spots on the paper. I racked my brain, trying to figure out which of the many sticky substances I’d packed could possibly have leaked in my bag on the way up, when I realized it was pine sap that had dripped from the tree above me.

I ran to call E.S. to come rescue me but there was no cell phone access so I had to stay the whole week.

The horrifying thing, of course, is that pine sap was nothing compared to what lay in store. By the end of my time I had both played softball and eaten a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.

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11 Responses to It is I, Faustus. I

  1. Jeff says:

    “By the end of my time I had both played softball and eaten a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.”

    Who are you and what have you done with Faustus?

  2. Ruby says:

    Welcome back Faustus.

    Did you bang your head against something while you were in camp?

  3. Christopher says:

    You ate a leaf? From the tree or from the ground. There is a real difference. Either way, how revolting!

  4. Christopher says:

    “a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.”

    I really have to start paying attention.

  5. Mush says:

    YOU ate a LEAF?!

  6. David says:

    Oh honestly. I love you all but you are the biggest wusses in the world! He ate a leaf, not a live cockroach. I’ve been on camping trips where I’ve had to use leaves to wipe my ass. Sheesh.

  7. Jess Duran says:

    I don’t know how I got here…but love this blog. I’m from CA but moved to Manhattan three years ago. Still enjoy discovering new things….this one is awesome.

  8. ColdFriday says:

    Great Hot Possums! And here I believed you were up to torrid adventures in the Urban Jungle. Did you leave any foliage for us?

  9. David says:

    Good lord, I can’t even believe you set foot in a forest at all (we had a pact!) and these people are focusing on a LEAF?

  10. birdfarm says:

    Bravo, darling. It’s like they say in that book we both bought and are afraid to open: you only overcome your fears by confronting them. And you only make fabulous stained glass by going to camp camp. And so on.

    Glad you’re back. I was enjoying Fauxstus but he was scaring me a little.

    Love
    Birdfarm

  11. Beltane says:

    Welcome back. I’m sure you will live. However, if your tongue becomes white with little pustules of puss oozing, you should see a doctor.

    Those natural leaves are scary….. o.o

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