It is I, Faustus. I have returned. I’m glad to see that the person who writes more like me than I do has kept you entertained.
I was at Camp Camp, in Middle of Nowhere, Maine. The first day, I was practicing my routine for the aerobics classes I was going to teach, and when I went over to check the steps I had written down, I found some sticky spots on the paper. I racked my brain, trying to figure out which of the many sticky substances I’d packed could possibly have leaked in my bag on the way up, when I realized it was pine sap that had dripped from the tree above me.
I ran to call E.S. to come rescue me but there was no cell phone access so I had to stay the whole week.
The horrifying thing, of course, is that pine sap was nothing compared to what lay in store. By the end of my time I had both played softball and eaten a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.
“By the end of my time I had both played softball and eaten a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.”
Who are you and what have you done with Faustus?
Welcome back Faustus.
Did you bang your head against something while you were in camp?
You ate a leaf? From the tree or from the ground. There is a real difference. Either way, how revolting!
“a leaf I picked from a plant in the forest.”
I really have to start paying attention.
YOU ate a LEAF?!
Oh honestly. I love you all but you are the biggest wusses in the world! He ate a leaf, not a live cockroach. I’ve been on camping trips where I’ve had to use leaves to wipe my ass. Sheesh.
I don’t know how I got here…but love this blog. I’m from CA but moved to Manhattan three years ago. Still enjoy discovering new things….this one is awesome.
Great Hot Possums! And here I believed you were up to torrid adventures in the Urban Jungle. Did you leave any foliage for us?
Good lord, I can’t even believe you set foot in a forest at all (we had a pact!) and these people are focusing on a LEAF?
Bravo, darling. It’s like they say in that book we both bought and are afraid to open: you only overcome your fears by confronting them. And you only make fabulous stained glass by going to camp camp. And so on.
Glad you’re back. I was enjoying Fauxstus but he was scaring me a little.
Welcome back. I’m sure you will live. However, if your tongue becomes white with little pustules of puss oozing, you should see a doctor.
Those natural leaves are scary….. o.o