June 20, 2005

While out walking my dog this evening, I passed by a corner box that held Gay City News, a “weekly newspaper serving gay, lesbian, bi & transgendered New York City.”

Someone had written the following request on the top of the box: “GOOD PLEASE NO GAYS + LESVIANES.” Elsewhere the same person had written, “GOOD LOVES YOU,” and elsewhere still, “ONLY MEN & WOMAN.”

Really all this did, other than causing my dog to strain at her leash to get away from the poor syntax, was fill me with an intense and burning desire for a lesviane. Does anybody know where I can get one?

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17 Responses to While out walking my dog

  1. steve says:


    Is that an endorsement of polyandry?

  2. David says:

    I believe this elusive species is seen lurking around the Home Depot. Look for flannel.

  3. sam says:

    It sounds to me like a type of uber-fattening pastry.

  4. Off-hand, I don’t know where to find a lesviane. But god luck in finding one.

  5. krimpet says:

    Doesn’t this just point out the lopsidedness of the gay/straight discourse in America? Gays want to be treated fairly and generally left alone and crazy-ass straight people want to mark up our newspaper dispensers. How would they like it if we sent out an army of lesvianes to spraypaint the Hallmark Store or ESPN?

  6. Jeffrey says:

    It sounds so sinister, so sordid, so… French.

    J’ai besoin de lesviane?

  7. David says:

    I googled “lesviane” in the hopes of finding something funny, but it actually is French for lesbian. Booooring.

  8. logan says:

    It’s not French. That’d be “lesbienne.”

  9. David says:

    My mistake, it’s Italian. I hang my head in shame.

  10. logan says:

    In Italian, it’s plural.
    It’s also almost Spanish. Or at least, “lesvianes” was.

    A lesviane sounds appealing, though.

  11. David says:

    Sort of like a veal dish.

  12. Andy says:

    Try Park Slope.

  13. Mushlette says:

    You can find lesvianes in the cooler at most 7-Elevens. They’re usually next to the Yoo-hoos.

  14. Monica says:

    Isn’t that a flavor of “Arbor Mist”?

  15. Jess says:

    I’m pretty sure Land’s End sells them. 🙂

  16. Helen says:

    I thought I was a lesviane once.
    Turns out it was just gas.
    Sorry I can’t help, darling.

  17. birdfarm says:

    We rented a lesviane by accident in Scotland. We couldn’t find the rental car agency where we had reserved a nice, normal compact car, and the only vehicle left at any other agency was a gigantic lesviane, which we proceeded to drive careeningly (a word?) along Loch Ness to the Isle of Skye.


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