June 12, 2005

One of my favorite things about E.S. is that, since he is a psychiatrist, he can and does diagnose people at the drop of a hat. Other people on the subway, people we pass on the street, my friends. But the best is when he diagnoses characters on TV shows. He does this not only with Law & Order, since crazy people are a regular feature on that program, but also with fantasy shows like Wonderfalls, whose heroine (according to E.S.) was experiencing first-break schizophrenia, and even with cartoons. He claims that Stewie on The Family Guy has an anxiety-spectrum disorder.

But E.S.’s ability to diagnose people even when they are pixillated and three inches tall is what allows me to tell you that Tom Cruise, who recently exposed himself on Oprah and Access Hollywood, is bipolar and has gone off his medications. It’s true; my psychiatrist boyfriend says so.

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7 Responses to One of my favorite things

  1. anapestic says:

    I think we should all just be relieved that Tom isn’t gay. Well, except for the breeders, of course. I’m sure they’d rather not have to claim him.

  2. Jeff says:

    And all this time I thought he was simply a fucking loon.

  3. Jess says:

    Any chance he’s suicidal? Please?

  4. David says:

    Is that why he’s now preaching the evils of medicating your problems away? Because now he’s all, “Wheeeeeee!”

  5. sam says:

    Faustus: Was he ever on meds? Isn’t that a big part of the Scientology cult, not to take medications (or at least the crazy pills?)

    ana: I thought repressing the gay is what’s making him so crazy.

  6. David says:

    I’d believe that before I would believe he is gay.

    The real question is, if your psychiatrist boyfriend gave you a disturbing diagnosis, would you accept it, or go about verbally dismantling him?

  7. J says:

    My point precisely….FREE KATIE HOLMES!!!

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