May 20, 2005

Cons of teaching three step aerobics classes and one body sculpting class in a day:

1. By the end of the day your scapular muscles will be so tight as to keep you in constant agony and force you to swallow twelve aspirin between midnight and 8:00 a.m. the next morning.

Pros of teaching three step aerobics classes and one body sculpting class in a day:

1. Carolyn McCormack, who plays Dr. Elizabeth Olivet on Law & Order, will come to the body sculpting class. You will be so thrilled that during class you will say things like, “You can do these pushups on your knees or on your nose” instead of “on your toes” and then have to correct yourself. You will rush up to her afterwards and stutter breathlessly that you love her work. She will thank you and tell you it was a great class.

I wonder how many classes in a row I’d have to teach before Chris Meloni came to one of them.

But the agony my muscles would suffer would be worth it, just to see him exercise his glutes.

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13 Responses to Cons of teaching three step

  1. yadoge says:

    hi from italy nice blog

  2. Jeffrey says:

    Of course, I remember the lovely Ms. McCormack as Minuet from an otherwise forgettable episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

    Lord, I am such a geek.

  3. anapestic says:

    I suppose there’s really no point in noting that the three step classes more than make up for the two pieces of pizza from earlier in the week.

  4. durban says:

    I heart Chris Meloni.

    You make me giggle.

  5. Mike says:

    Yeah, you’re the only person I know who atones for eating reduced-fat Oreos by doing not one but FOUR step aerobics/whatever classes. Ugh.

  6. matt says:

    To say nothing of seeing him exercising yours. I know, E.S. wouldn’t approve.

    Four classes in one day is excessive. I had a great time teaching one on Tuesday, but that’s enough for one night, at least for me. All else aside, my voice couldn’t take the strain of more. You must sound like Tom Waits after such a day.

  7. says:

    if Chris Meloni EVER shows up, call me at once, and i will make my very first exercise class appearance.

  8. stevenmark says:

    step step step step whew
    suddenly he finds he’s hard
    Meloni in view

  9. Jess says:

    I can just picture that class. Faustus sends everyone else out of the room, so he can give Mr. Meloni special attention. “This first routine involves you doing pushups while I lie underneath your midsection to provide proper assistance…’

  10. Book Worm says:

    Did you see McCormack in Privilege at Second Stage? Quite a different role — she played the stressed-out Mom of two teen-agers whose father (played by Bob Saget, of all unlikely people) was going to jail for securities fraud. The kids were played most impressively by Harry Zittel and Conor Donovan. I suspect we will here more of them: they are both gifted and highly decorative.

    Dick Wolf gets the town’s best actors to appear on the Law and Order series (plural here) by casting against type. Martin Short as a homocidal maniac. Kathleen Chalfant as a manipulative bitch. The performers love the novelty and the dependable schedules (neither rain nor sleet nor snow can defer an L&O shoot, as the program proves on the air), and the show is a fabulous franchise.

    And if Christopher Meloni (as he now bills himself) shows up, add me to the list of folks who want to see those tatoos ripple!

  11. David says:

    I saw Mr. Meloni filming an episode on 43rd Street this past Friday. He is just as stunning in person.

  12. jason says:

    i keep telling you faustus… teach at crunch, and you’ll see the adored meloni…

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