March 23, 2005

When E.S. and I were in Los Angeles in December, I bought a mood ring at the Page Museum at La Brea tar pits. The mood ring came with a chart indicating what color means what state of mind. Deep blue, for example, means “very happy,” while black means “tense.” Red means “adventurous, energized,” and bronze is “jitters, anticipation.” Orange is “daring,” brown is “restless thoughts,” and blue is “relaxed, at ease.”

This would all seem very clear to me if it weren’t for the fact that my mood ring never displays fewer than three colors at a time.

Sometimes it’s yellow/blue-green/gray, which means that I have wondering thoughts, am somewhat relaxed, and feel nervous and strained. Other times it’s pinkish/purple/amber, which means that, though I have clarity, I am uncertain and my emotions are mixed. Still other times it’s black/green/red/brown/blue/bronze/orange, which means I am drunk.

Actually, upon further consideration, it’s clear that this thing really knows its stuff.

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11 Responses to When E.S. and I were

  1. Jess says:

    What color means “horny”?

  2. Mike says:

    That’d be like asking which color means “male.” 😉

  3. anapestic says:

    If you’re going to start revisiting the 1970s, I insist that you do it all the way. The mood ring is an acceptable start, but when I first had a mood ring, I also had a polyester powder blue leisure suit, complete with a faux silk shirt. To this day, I’m amazed that I survived my teenage years.

    And while you’re going retro, don’t forget the gold chains and the big, bad hair.

  4. Mood rings should be made compulsory. Forget ID cards, this is the way forward.

  5. Marc says:

    anapestic: yep – sounds like me in high school.

    Faustus: mood rings rarely display a single color, so don’t think you’re abnormal just because of the mood ring. I rarely ever got mine to go from black to brown. At least you have some color!

  6. David says:

    Put it in the freezer, that’ll learn it.

  7. anon says:

    i love this site. i really do.

  8. Jess (and Mike): I think “horny” is listed as a secondary meaning for every color.

    anapestic: You are very frightening.

    Long Lost One: But can you imagine how the Republican government will manage to fuck it up and make it fascistic?

    Marc: Great. I thought I was special, but I see now that I’m not. Just kidding.

    David: I think a mutual acquaintance of ours already had that pulled on him. If I recall correctly, he has yet to recover from the experience.

    anon: You are very kind to say so.

  9. Jeffrey says:

    I put on a mood ring once. It stayed black. For a while it looked like it might turn to blue, but I think I stared at it long enough that it was too afraid to.

  10. Joe.My.God. says:

    I had an original mood ring, back when they came out in the 70’s. It *never* changed color, which is when I began to suspect that I was dead inside.

  11. Wayne says:

    Mine turned pink instantly. It’s a great fairy detector.


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