January 28, 2005

Oh, my.

Distasteful, my ass.

I sense a porn movie in the offing.

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13 Responses to Oh, my. Distasteful, my ass.

  1. campbell says:

    Laughed ’til I choked! Especially loved the idea of making the enemy really stinky.

    Why is the military so prone to this kind of lunacy?

  2. What would be a good name for the porn movie? “Weapons of Mass Arousal”? “The Manhandler Project”?

  3. Convivia says:

    The thing that I thought when I heard this story was this–if there was ACTUALLY SOME WAY to make otherwise-heterosexual people crazed with homosexual lust, wouldn’t someone have already invented it, patented it, and supplied it to nightclubs, discos, etc. for fabulous sums?

  4. Convivia says:

    And one wonders a) what happens to the gay soldiers, and b) what happens to the female soldiers, gay and straight?

    It would be great if it were just some kind of “toggle” and it simply reversed everyone’s sexual polarity–it would be funny if the Marines, for example, were suddenly 90% gay men, 5% straight women, 3% straight men, and 2% lesbians. It would be like an episode of “Will and Grace” or something.

  5. i. bendito says:

    Pvt Jekyll & Mr Top

  6. Jess says:

    I wanted to get some of the stuff to make boys turn gay and then go to a local college campus and start spraying it. 🙂

  7. Patrick says:

    My question is if you’ll be starring in this porno, like you have in the past. If so, do you need distribution help? 😛

  8. matt says:

    [604] “Weapons of Ass Destruction”, surely?

  9. campbell: I was thinking about this very question and came to the following conclusion: the military is run by idiots. That’s why.

    604: Oh, those are good. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to go with matt (comment #8) in the end.

    Convivia: Perhaps the reason no one has sold it to nightclubs, discos, etc. for fabulous sums is that it ended up being the kind of substance described in your second comment.

    i. bendito: Definitely good. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to go with matt (comment #8) in the end.

    Jess: I’d want to take it to the Columbia gym, one of the places where I teach aerobics. My classes themselves are all full of girls, but the weight rooms are populated by nubile boys.

    Patrick: Alas, I simply don’t think I’d make a convincing member of the military, no matter how much Stanislavky Technique I mastered.

    matt: See my comments to 604 and i. bendito.

  10. Convivia says:

    The worst thing would be if they sprayed both substances at the same time–then there would be a lot of horny, stinky soldiers alternately attracting and repelling each other.

  11. Convivia says:

    JP, I did not intend to suggest for even a nanosecond that you lacked couth. You are positively teeming with couth, if your comments here are any indication.

    Rather, I was suggesting that Faustus, like me, can sometimes be a bit deficient on the fine points of popular culture.

  12. Brian says:

    Sigh, I’m so sad I was away from a computer for four days. I would have had such awesome porn names, but now they would just seem lame.

  13. Todd says:

    Rampant homosexuality in the enemy’s ranks would certainly be cause for glee, I mean look at the horrible consequences of that type of behaior among the greeks during the seige of Troy . . . oh wait.

    Besides wouldn’t it be like fighting the US navy?


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