E.S. and I had the following conversation the other day after I came back from the gym.
E.S.: I like your hair like that.
Faustus (disgusted): You mean all gross and messed up and with no product in it because I realized after I got out of the shower that I’d forgotten to bring my gel with me?
E.S.: Yes. It’s so much better like this than all fake and gooped up with stuff. In fact, I want you to throw all your hair product away. You look great natural, just like you are.
Faustus: You’re not gay. I’ve suspected it all along, but this confirms it.
E.S.: What about the fact that I have a hard-on for you right now?
Faustus: No, that’s less important than caring about hair product. I’m reporting you to the High Council.