From a conversation I had this evening with my friend H.E., who recently broke up with her boyfriend:
H.E.: I found one of his eyelashes in my shower this morning and it made me so sad. I felt bad washing it down the drain.
Faustus: H., everybody has eyelashes.
H.E.: Yeah, but not everybody has good eyelashes. My last boyfriend’s eyelashes were transparent.
Faustus: And he didn’t use mascara?
H.E.: Faustus, I date straight men.
Faustus: Oh. (Pause.) Why would you want to do that?