Yesterday, I went to City Quilter to buy material for the quilting class I’m starting next week.
Then I went to That’s SO Gay: Tales of Extremely Gay Gayness, where I performed a really, really gay cabaret song to which I’d written both the words and the music.
Then I knitted on the subway home.
This afternoon, I successfully auditioned to become an aerobics instructor at the Paris Health Club. (I’m officially on their sub list until the new season starts in September.)
In an hour, after walking my Maltese, I’m going to go to my boyfriend’s apartment in Brooklyn and have anal sex.
I’m not hubristic enough to think that I’m the gayest person ever, but I’m nevertheless pleased with the amount of gayness I’ve managed to concentrate in my body.
Fasustus, you certainly exemplify the very gay gayness we all aspire to. Keep up the ever-so-gay work.
Gay is the new vitamin C. (You couldn’t hear that, but I said vitamin as the British do.)
There’s such a thing as overdoing it, you know. Although not with the anal sex, obviously 🙂
I’m so proud that for our people you’re taking one — no, never mind. Too easy.
I’d say have a gay day, but looks like you already have !
An unqualified comment from the German guy who was too uneducated to recognize where your introduction came from:
For all those who haven’t been at the WYSIWYG Talent Show: Faustus was brilliant, he was perfect, he was what I least expected to see.
Faustus, once you are done publishing your book: When can we expect a recorded version of the song hitting the shelves?
If I get you the yarn, will you knit me a boyfriend?
I intend on plundering your trunk.
Of songs. Yeah, songs…
True. I’m taking you as a role model in my strife for greatness in gayness. I can give you a run for your money because I too write songs and perform. But it should be hard cuz I’m as ‘gifted’ as you. Keep up the gay ways!
I really enjoyed the show. The song was very…stimulating. I’ve been a fan following this weblog for a few months now….. can we have sex?
Haha. Way to get down to the point, Mr. Tom! Faustus, you have done a very good job portraying your gayness in the “WYSIWYG show”.
Faustus, to quote the immortal and beloved TV show Roseanne….”You couldn’t be gayer if your name was Gaye Gayerson…”
And you know that comes from love…
Frank, thank you for your vote of confidence. I will endeavor always to deserve it. Charles, does that mean that overdosing on gay will turn you orange? Because, if so, then maybe I should reconsider. Matt, it’s really all trying to compensate for the faggy scarf I left in London. Jeff, bite your tongue, unless your mouth is full with something else. Pam, every day is a gay day here in Manhattan! Schorsch, wenn nur ich gewissen haette, dass du deutsch bist, haett’ich dir auf deutsch gesprochen! Charlie, you can plunder my trunk anytime, but the more you plunder, the more time it’ll take me to knit you a boyfriend. Kris, you should write a gay Bollywood musical. Tom, oh, if only you’d asked me a year ago the answer would have been yes, immediately. But I’m taken now. Brian, clearly I am now going to have to change my name to Gaye Gayerson.
A quick warning about Paris. In the past there have been issues about their instructors getting paid. I have a couple of friends who used to work there.
And any time you want to have a quilting bee, let me know. I haven’t quilted recently, but I’d love an excuse to start again.
The last time someone tried making a musical in Bollywood… hell, when was the last time? And imagine a gay musical. But yeah, I’ll keep nurturing my ambitions to make one.
Taa daaa! Go to ultrasparky.org and there, right in front of you, is a picture of the good Dr F himself. Cute! Can’t think why he’s so backward about coming forward. I looked like that? I’d be hiring billboards al la Judy Holliday
Oh, my Lord! I was just thinking yesterday that there should be a gay Bollywood musical. If I could watch gay filmi-gheet while eating chocolate cheesecake I might just expire of delight.
darling, i adore you! are you in need of a hag to round everything out? you just say the word darling, and i’ll be there… 😉
OK, two posts in a row had me laughing out loud to where people came into my office to see what was so funny. I think you have some new tropical wildlife biologist fans in Hawaii. If you blog it, they will come.
However, the gayest man alive(tm) has NEVER used anything similar to the phrase “I’m going to Brooklyn”