One of the advantages of having a boyfriend who’s about to start his residency in psychiatry is that I get to learn all sorts of terrific things about how society deals with crazy people.
For instance: the Secret Service keeps a list of crazy people who have threatened to kill the President of the United States. Then, whenever the President of the United States comes to town, the Secret Service sends a pair of agents to spend the day with each crazy person. They go to lunch, they go to the movies, maybe do a little shopping. Apparently the crazy people love this. “Oh, wow!” they say. “Stan and Joey are coming to town to take me out!”
Now that’s a deal I’d love to be in on. Especially if Stan and Joey were hot.
The problem, of course, is that threatening to kill the President of the United States is a federal crime, and I’d have to be able to convince the authorities that I was crazy rather than criminal.
I’m going to truncate this post here, because the more I write, the more I fear a knock at my door followed by the entrance of anonymous men from the Department of Homeland “Security” and my inexplicable but permanent disappearance.