December 23, 2003

Last night I went to David’s birthday dinner with my boyfriend (oh, fuck, there I go again) E.S.

I’d been looking forward to the event for several days, when shortly beforehand I found out that David had also invited T.H. This meant that I would be going to a party with my boyfriend (shit) and the man with whom, not to put too fine a point on it, I cheated on him the last time he was my boyfriend. (This is an oversimplification, but it’ll do for the present.)

“You invited WHO?!?!?” I shrieked electronically and ungrammatically at David.

“I forgot,” he said. “The idea of you and T.H. together makes no sense to me, so I never remember that it ever happened.”

So now I had to figure out how to handle the situation. I could just keep mum about the whole thing. But since T.H. reads my blog, he would know who E.S. was, but E.S., though he knows that T.H. exists, would have no idea that that’s who he was sitting across from; this seemed an unfair and disrespectful state of affairs. Which meant I’d have to tell E.S. that T.H. would be there. Not that there was any real problem here, because, as charming and delightful as T.H. is, E.S. is really a far more suitable boyfriend for me; still, the thought of the conversation I’d have to have filled me with agony and anguish. My past behavior towards E.S. has been reprehensible enough that I fear a confrontation with it in the same way that Dorian Grey might fear a confrontation with a certain portrait.

I agonized and anguished about how to tell him–the more so because, being totally broke, I’m taking time off from therapy, so I couldn’t get my therapist to write my lines for me–and finally, Sunday night, I called E.S. and, in the course of our conversation, said, “um, there’s something slightly awkward about David’s party.”

“Let me guess,” he said. “T.H. will be there.”

Stunned, I asked, “How did you know?”

“Well, I knew they were friends, so when you said there’d be something awkward, that leapt to mind immediately. Don’t worry. It’s fine. I think.”

Slightly terrified at how intuitive my boyfriend (drat) is, I hung up and went shopping for a birthday present.

In the event, the guests at the dinner were seated at a long table. E.S. and I arrived slightly late, and the only seats were at the opposite end of the table from T.H. (and, incidentally, next to this man, whom I was glad to get to know a little better).

Though I was sad not to be able to participate in the conversation happening at the other end of the table, I was not sorry to leave the portrait wrapped up.

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14 Responses to Last night I went to

  1. Crash says:

    Well, you and E.S. were delightful dinner companions, as were the young ladies whose names I’ve forgotten.

  2. Paul says:

    Faustus could you please tell me what book Dorian Grey is from. I had never heard of him until lately. If you know please answer here or on my journal. It would be greatly appreciated because if there is in fact a novel I would like to read it. Thanks!!

  3. Crash, I’m glad you thought so, as I felt distracted enough by the particulars detailed in this post to be a dull and uninspired dinner companion. Paul, check your e-mail.

  4. bob says:

    Aren’t intuitive boyfriends (or whatever you call them) the best?

    He sounds perfect.


  5. Anonymous #7 says:

    You’re such an aesthete.

  6. Bob, yes, they are. And thank you. Anonymous #7, am not.

  7. Patrick says:

    Well I’ve noticed that you are very quickly accepting this boyfriend status. You moved from “fuck” to “shit” to “drat”. When you switch to *giggle* and the inexcusable “HEHEHE” is when I hop a plane and smack some sense into you. Congratulations and enjoy the ride.

  8. Jeff says:

    The number of times you used the word “boyfriend” fills me with inestimable joy. I’d almost say it makes me believe in the true meaning of Christmas, but you’re Jewish and I think that’s a bunch of twaddle, anyway.

  9. Jeff: Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend.

    Patrick: HEHEHE. *giggle*

  10. T.H. says:

    I was just as terrified as you were, due to the fact that I haven’t seen you in quite a long time. It wasn’t until the subway ride home after dinner when I realized exactly who E.S. was. I was instantly grateful to not have that added panic attack during the meal. And may I say, congratulations. You two are beautiful together. Perhaps next time we’ll all be calm enough to converse.

  11. Anonymous #7 says:

    Dorian Grey…? Are too! And a good one at that. ;P

  12. Karen says:

    I’ve always wondered what T.H. stands for, since it is obviously not T.H.’s name. I’m thinking “Tender Hunk” or “Totally Hot” Will you enlighten us?

  13. T.H., thank you. I have yet to meet K, you know. Anonymous #7, oh, all right, you win. Karen, all the sets of initials in this blog are algorithmically derived from people’s real names, so, alas, there are no juicy and revealing nicknames behind any of them.

  14. Jalal says:

    Faustus 🙂

    You know what. 🙂

    I think it is about time you started looking for a new name for your blog. 🙂

    Your search seems to be over. 😉

    I know I smiled four times. But only because I am feeling so happy for you.


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