December 1, 2003

I am now back from western Maryland, having survived a week in the middle of nowhere with this man, his dog, his boyfriend, his boyfriend’s sister, my dog, and some very scary movies. On the drive back, we passed a site on which someone was rebuilding Noah’s Ark. We knew the structure was Noah’s Ark because of the sign that said, “Noah’s Ark Being Rebuilt Here.”

The thing is, we passed the very same structure with the very same sign on our way back from western Maryland when we went last year. And it was in the very same state of completion.

Clearly, somebody has been falling down on the job.

I mean, come on. How long can you really think it’ll be before God destroys the world again in a flood the likes of which hasn’t been seen on earth for millenia?

Except wait. The whole point of the damn rainbow after the flood was over was the covenant God made with Noah that He would never destroy the world in a flood ever again. So what the hell is the point of rebuilding Noah’s Ark?

I guess the builder came to that very same realization.

Too bad he was out all that lumber already.

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10 Responses to I am now back from

  1. FLygaaL says:

    I am 10 years younger to you but can’t recollect any memories with as much details as you can.

  2. matt says:

    Ah, neither does Faustus, he just makes them up. Where’s the art in mere remembering?

  3. orbicon says:

    Lazy-ass Noah wannabe.
    I predict that next year the “Ark” sign will be replaced by a “Firewood for Sale” sign.

  4. Matt, bite your tongue; do you want everybody to know my secrets? FLygaaL, it’s only the searing pain that burns memories into my brain. Orbicon, I think you underestimate the persistence of the population of western Maryland.

  5. Jeff says:

    Clearly, it’s for the flood that will sweep over the East Coast when a massive meteor crashes into the Atlantic.

    Oh wait, that was a movie, wasn’t it?

  6. Maybe not a meteor, but there is a volcanic erruption on one of the Canary Islands that’s long overdue. If you watch enough Discovery, etc, it appears that it will create a colossal tidal wave, growing as it crosses the Atlantic, which will totally obliterate the eastern seaboard of the USA. So the ark could be useful for when that happens, I suppose. If it’s true.

  7. Wayne says:

    They are building the secret UFO Saucers underground. All the Noah’s Ark rebuilt thingy are just come cover-up. Yep.

  8. Jalal says:

    Maybe it is just a secluded retreat. Since the guy knows noone will EVER walk in since they will be busy laughing.

  9. Mark says:

    I just can’t wait for him to start collecting two of every animal. And you think the ARK is taking forever to get completed….

  10. Crash says:

    1) Where does one find a huge quantity of gopher wood in Maryland?

    2) Never watch the Discovery Channel. You’ll wind up huddled under your bed waiting for the meteor/volcano/tidal wave that is coming any day now.


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