December 20, 2003

All the early signs of incipient homosexuality people offered in the comments to the last post–and, incidentally, all the early signs of incipient homosexuality I might offer–are as nothing compared to those exhibited by my friend K.N.

I offer two stories.

1. In kindergarten one day, K.N. stood up all of a sudden and burst into screaming, bawling tears because he realized that his underwear didn’t match his socks. Ordinarily, if he was wearing green underwear, he made sure to put on green socks; red with red; and so on. But he’d gotten distracted that morning and accidentally put on socks of a different color from his underwear.

All efforts to assure him this was not actually a problem were vain; he didn’t stop crying until his teacher called his mother to come and get him. She took him home, waited while he changed, and drove him back to school.

2. In junior high, K.N. was in class with a boy he thought was a bad dresser. K.N. would buy boxes of No. 2 pencils, sharpen them to razor-sharp points, lie in wait for this kid on his way home, jump out from behind the bushes, and stab the kid in the back with a pencil as hard as he could.

Then he would hiss things like, “Next time, tuck your shirt in.”

I am a very good homosexual.

But I bow in the presence of true genius.

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12 Responses to All the early signs of

  1. Jess says:

    Wow! Now that is a dyed-in-the-wool gay boy!

  2. tim says:

    Maybe you are wrong. He isn’t gay, he’s just a psychopath.

  3. sam says:

    I certainly hope he’s on medication now.

  4. cisoux says:

    Why aren’t more of my friends gay and where can I find people like K.N.?

    By the way, how did you like Return of the King? Orlando Bloom is divine, no? I gasped everytime he came on screen.

  5. Paul says:

    Why Faustus I had no clue that you had ever read my journal. I am both shocked and honored for the visit. And yes the cookie receipe is going to be used tonight. Thank you for the wish of luck. Hope you have a happy holiday and new year.

  6. Paul says:

    The cookies are done Faustus and I must say they are very yummy!! Thanks again!

  7. ian says:

    I’m voting for psychopath as well.

  8. Me says:

    I wonder how can one attract to some one of same sex. For God sake just imagine that male and female sexual organs are just created for each others. They fit like nut and bolt. Please don’t fool your self by attracting to same sex. Please see docter and try to cure your problem instead of supporting un natural stuff. Please don’t be offend and no hard feelings.
    Good Luck and stay :)

  9. ian says:

    However, K.N. is far less psycho than the previous commentor.

  10. Jalal says:

    Oh nice!

    I thought people with horrible English only came on my blog and told me how wrong my being gay is.

    Seems it is not so after all.

  11. Timilee says:

    Okay, Now I am not gay, I’m a female and been married to a man for over 2 years now. However, I am bi but very loyal to my husband. I am from California and went to a school in San Jose that was VERY open to homosexuality. I Live in a place now where its not as accepted as it is there. I get sickend by that. Nobody around here knows that I am attracted to woman, mainly because I happened to Marry a man whom i love. So when I fight for Gay rights and support Same sex marriage they don’t understand how I can believe that its okay. I don’t think it matter what sex you are, I have been with woman who I feel I totally “fit” with. And Men who have felt the same. I knew I was gay when i was little when I was fasinated with my grandfathers Playboys that were hidden in the garage. I use to sneak off and look at them, even steal them and I was 7 years old. You can’t judge a book by its cover though. That boy with the matching issue could also have a compulsive disorder. Anyway, your site is great and interesting. Thanks for letting me visit. Peace and Happy Holidays.

  12. zenchick says:

    Timilee: I’m one-hundred percent straight chick in total and vocal support of same sex marriage rights. It takes all kinds.

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