November 10, 2003

On the one hand, surgery to correct my umbilical hernia would mean that I would never again have to go through two hours of agonizing pain such as I suffered last night.

On the other hand, it would mean that I’d have to stay away from the gym for six weeks, during which time lack of exercise coupled with a natural tendency to despair would slowly but surely cause me to assume the shape of a sphere, at which point I would have to retreat entirely from all human interaction.

Then, of course, once I was a sphere the patch (or whatever it actually is) would pop out, and I’d have the hernia again.

So really in the end it hardly seems worth it.

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7 Responses to On the one hand, surgery

  1. Wayne says:

    The worst you can get, is a big tummy like mine.




    Just remember to eat lots of yoguart…

  2. Not an M.D. says:

    Of course by not getting it surgically corrected, your “intestines can get stuck or twisted inside the hernia and cut off from their own blood supply” which would give you a strangulated hernia that “could lead to the death of that part of the intestines and would require a more complex and risker operation” later.

    If that happened, you might permanently become a “sphere.” Remember what the proverb says: An ounce of sphere now can prevent a pound of sphere later.”

  3. Jalal says:

    Faustus. GO to the hospital NOW.

  4. cisoux says:

    i just found your blog today, and i am already addicted.

    now go get that hernia fixed, so you can keep up this blog! also, take care.

    – cisoux

  5. Wayne says:


    Get that Hernia fixed, you silly boy.

    And please, lack of exercise will not make you a SPHERE.

  6. adam #2 says:

    I got my hernia fixed up laproscopically and it healed way faster than the doctors said it was going to; yeah, you’ll have to take it easy for a while, but you will probably be up and about much more swiftly than your medical advisors suggest. Definitely not sphere-making territory

  7. Convivia says:

    Fix hernia. While recuperating, eat less. Thus not becoming sphere.


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