It is I, Faustus. I have returned, only to find that I seem to have been nurturing a viper in my bosom. I’ll take the high road for the moment and deal with the pretender later, as I have a question to ask:
If you leave the country and stay with the music director of your show and his partner and they foil all your attempts to be a helpful guest by tricking you out of doing the dishes or arranging the cushions back on the sofa or any of the other things that you as a good guest would sooner lose an arm than neglect to do, and then you sleep with them, and then the next morning after a delightful breakfast, when you go to wash the dishes they don’t lift a finger to stop you, does that mean they thought you were bad in bed?
Hypothetically speaking, I mean?
Maybe it means that they no longer consider you a guest; they think of you as family.
Either that or between the sex and the cooking, they were worn out and appreciated the help.
We all know, or at least I do, that you are quite talented in the sack and that it takes several hours/days to recover. This is not a bad thing, trust me. They were probably too exhausted to stop you from doing dishes. Or just wanted to watch your ass while you worked.
Maybe you were wonderful. Maybe they were blissfully exhausted from wild raunchy sex and couldn’t stop you.
I keep thinking “BREKFAST FIRST DRESSED LATER”
Also guests relax, (sex) slaves work. Which I think implies gooood sex.
i don’t really have an answer for your question, i just want to know why you keep getting to have all these hot sex adventures??? orgies? three ways? what’s your secret?
Crash beat me to it. You became family.
I think it means that English people are lazy.
Either that, or their “don’t do anything” attitude the evening before was meant to trick you into bed, and then once they had Had Their Way With You they felt free to express their true Inner Sloths.
At least I have distinguished company in the ranks of Bosom Vipers, Mary Queen of Scots being the most famous. Curse you for vanquishing me! 🙂
Crash is the closest if you amalgamate both his/her points.
The English are only ever polite until they know you well enough to consider you a friend then they’ll quite happily shag you AND let you do the washing up!
The MD and I look forward to your next trip.
PS I know this is a given but you think too much!
Obviously, from the comments, your other readers share in my delight of your return to your rightful throne. Will there be a public beheading?
And we all know you’re not bad in bed, hypothetically or no.
It means they really wanted to do you up against the sink.
And really, who wouldn’t?
Actually, Sam, some of us are still waiting to find out if Faustus is great in bed. I mean, one hears stories, but they could just be exaggerations.
It means you tired them out.
It could also mean they are really comfy with you and you are part of the family, so to speak. No longer a guest, washing dishes is no big deal. Also, if you got them tired–as Dr. Philomena suggests–then they’d have no choice.
I guess after the night with them, they made you their personal houseboy. Hrm, I mean, washing dishes, isn’t that bad for the nails? *Puts on his bath and body works Skin Renewel Hand Lotion*
I think it means….well hell at this point what do I have to contribute when all of the good lines are already taken…sigh….
I miss the Hippo.
On the other hand, I’m glad you’re back.
Holy lordy mother of god. You had a better week than I. Or at least a more interesting one.
When you say “hypothetically” do you mean “not hypothetically”?
OCD: I miss you, too. Click on me anytime. 🙂
Why are all of you LYING when you know what the truth is.
They hated you in bed. They wanted you to make up for it by doing the dishes.
And I would agree with Crash that there might be exaggerations. How can we ever know …