October 12, 2003

When I was in college, my friend A.N. asked me one day, “If you were the god of something, what would you be the god of?”

To stall for time while I came up with something suitable, I asked her what her answer to the same question would be.

“I would be Convivia, the goddess of cultural f

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18 Responses to When I was in college,

  1. cf says:

    That’s a beautiful question!

  2. It certainly is. But what’s the answer?

  3. JW says:

    Leave it to me — I’ll presume to attempt an answer by offering a handful of suggestions:

    1. generosity
    2. gay orgies
    3. neurosis
    4. the key of A-flat major and all of its uses
    5. glitter

  4. Sabrina_C says:

    i would be the goddess Blah, you would pray to me for general apathy to help you cope with a devistating breakup, the fact that the vending machine is out of diet coke and maybe the fact that you have cancer and are going to die. I probably wouldn’t be good for anything, but you’d need me cause I am a basic coping mechanism.

  5. Jonny says:

    How about the God of Hotpants?

  6. Jalal says:

    God of Homosexuality 😉

  7. Jalal says:

    Sorry didnt finish it.

    “Gaio” – God of Homosexuality


  8. Jeff says:

    Neurotica, god of OCD. Or god of hotpants — and we’ll need pictures for that.

    I’d be Crampacious, god of claustrophobia. Or Navelius Gazius, god of introspection.

  9. NJ says:

    You should be the God of the Spirit Stick…. you could bestowe stunting advice, tumbling coaching, and jump technique to those cheerleaders less worthy than you.

  10. Wayne says:

    For some reason… I can only picture Faustus as a nymph….

  11. Wayne says:

    Don’t get anyone wrong idea. I’d love to be a fairy myself. But I’m too damn “big” and “hairy” and plus my belly… argh… I’m a troll.. I’m a troll!!

  12. joe says:

    How about Prepositio? He could be the god of people that end sentences with prepositions.

  13. Joe, to quote Winston Churchill (though the exact wording of the quote varies depending on whom you ask), that is a form of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put.

    Perhaps Pedantio?

  14. Patrick says:

    Perhaps A.N. meant to be the goddess of cultural fêtes?

  15. matt says:

    I like the other quote — obviously not Churchill — that we might paraphrase thus: “what would I be the god of, bitch?”

    6. gay cheerleading
    7. hymns to despair
    8. double dactyls
    9. searching for love in manhattan (bet there’d be a lot of worshippers at that shrine)

    and of course:

    10. blog comment smackdowns…

  16. Adam807 says:

    That’s it, Matt! The god of Bitch!

  17. joe says:

    Ah, so you think *I’m* being pedantic? Hello? Coals? Newcastle? Kettle? Call for you on line 2, someone from the Hypocrisy Council…something about winning an award….

  18. Pete says:

    If you find the “God of Chocolate” please let me know….. i will be more than willing to set aside many a Sunday for worship…. hotpants on the otherhand…. well……


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