October 11, 2003
Today I went to my first yoga class.
Technically it wasn't my first yoga class—that was about five years ago, when I was visiting relatives in Los Angeles, and was memorable primarily for the fact that it was the first time I'd ever written "composer" in answer to the question "occupation" when signing in; this gave me a thrill, but the yoga itself was completely forgettable, as is evidenced by the fact that I have completely forgotten it. So I think it's fair to call what I went to today my first yoga class.
It may, however, be my last.
It was absolutely baffling. Every other word out of the teacher's mouth sounded like either a disease or a monster from a Tolkien novel. At one point, for example, I was ordered to move slowly into trikonasana while maintaining the focus on the ujjayi at the end of my nose.
I seemed to be the only person in class disturbed by the thought that there was ujjayi at the end of my nose. I desperately wanted to rush to the mirror in the men's locker room and rub it off, but I intuited from the attitudes of those around me that this would have been the wrong choice to make.
By the end of class, I was so full of despair at not having become spiritually enlightened that I almost vowed never to go back.
Except the teacher was really hot, so I guess I can try again next week.
Posted by Faustus, MD at 03:11 PM
TrackBack Pings (TrackBack URL for this entry: copy me!)
Comments
1) matt said (on 10/11/03 at 08:35 PM):
Yoga: painful, poncey and boring, a terrible combination. Where's the thumping dance music?
Of course, my yoga teachers were always women; perhaps if they'd been hot men I'd be enlightened by now :)
2) Jeff said (on 10/12/03 at 07:36 AM):
I'm in a beginner's class. My teacher is decidedly *not* hot, he says things that sound like gobbledygook, but then looks at us and says, "How many of you have no idea what I'm talking about?" Even if I'm the only one who raises his hand, he explains.
When selecting a teacher, focus on the "teach" root of the word, as opposed to the modifier "hot". The prospect of being much more flexible after taking yoga for a while will most likely be incentive enough.
3) Jalal said (on 10/12/03 at 08:37 AM):
Faustus. Yoga is about balance, spirituality and peace. You will not get the buzz the first time. But you will later on. Hang in there.
4) lilianic said (on 10/12/03 at 10:56 AM):
Yoga is great for helping you relax; plus, if your teacher is hot, that's just another reason to keep with it, at least for one more class.
5) Adam807 said (on 10/12/03 at 03:13 PM):
I never feel very spiritually enlightened after yoga, but I do feel relaxed and flexible and a little bit stronger, which is why I go.
I know what ujayi and trikonassana are only because my teacher translates the words and explains what they mean every single class, even if everyone has been there before. Your class may have been too advanced, but I actually suspect you just had a bad teacher who believes he is somehow superior because of his yogic knowledge and doesn't want you to know any of it yourself so you have to keep paying for his class. Which really shouldn't be the point!
But at least he was hot...
6) jen said (on 10/12/03 at 11:30 PM):
was it bikram yoga? thats what i do. i *love* it and the male instructor in little hot pants oh *drooooool*
7) Wayne said (on 10/13/03 at 11:30 AM):
I'm not sure how I can keep myseld relaxed if my Yoga instructor is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT... I mean... me wearing tights...and have to do the bend over here and bend over there moves....
8) bob said (on 10/14/03 at 02:32 PM):
Hot teacher good. Not understanding the class, notsomuch.
Go to a good new beginner's class ... Integral has a good one.
9) visitor said (on 03/ 1/05 at 03:53 AM):
hi, stumbled onto your site and have been reading your archives page.
Just wanted to tell you that this phrase "I seemed to be the only person in class disturbed by the thought that there was ujjayi at the end of my nose" has got to be the funniest thing I ever read ever.
I love your blog.
10) Kevin Perry said (on 05/28/05 at 11:36 AM):
I just dropped by to read your blog and say hello.
Kevin Perry
Free Daily Yoga Tip
Post a comment
Powered by Movable Type 3.2