September 18, 2003

Yesterday, figuring that I should try something different from step aerobics every once in a while, I went to the hip-hop/funk class at my gym.

This turned out to be a big, big, big mistake.

The class was taught by someone whose name ought to have been Shoshana, though it wasn’t. She was a white woman, probably in her late thirties, with two pigtails. Not the type of person you’d think would be particularly good at hip-hop.

But you’d be wrong.

She showed us a combination (I suspect you don’t call them “combinations” in hip-hop/funk class, but I don’t really know what you do call them, so I’ll call them combinations) and I was like, okay, I can learn that. It’ll take me a while, but I can learn that.

And then she kept going.

And going.

Of course, every single other person in the class was having absolutely no trouble at all following her. But what not-Shoshana was doing was so complicated and difficult that I wasn’t even thinking about what a moron I looked like, because if I’d diverted one iota of mental energy to that, I would have tripped over my own legs and fallen and broken something.

After about ten more minutes of St. Vitusesque lurching, I came to a very simple realization:

I am not funky.

So I left, got some dinner, and went home to write.

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9 Responses to Yesterday, figuring that I should

  1. David says:

    I think you mean to say that your instructor’s name ought to have been Sheniqua. Because its quite possible the woman you described as Shoshana had a suitable name, particularly if she dreamed of a multiethnic dance career during her summer at a kibbutz.

  2. Adam807 says:

    Oh, honey, I could have told you you weren’t funky. I only wish you’d asked before you went and found out in public.

  3. Jeff says:

    Oh. Ah. Ow. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

  4. Akasha says:

    I once took a class at the gym called ‘West Coast Hip Hop’. Apparently the hip hop on this side is similar to the East Coast version because I felt the same way. There were old women (and men!) in the class doing funky moves. Quite humbling.

  5. Wired Nerve says:

    Come on now, remember the first Cardio Class you took. I am sure it took you a bit to get use to it.. Give this a bit of time and you can be doing all the funk you want…

  6. tim says:

    aaha ha ha ha ah ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha haha……. ha ha ha ha ha ah a…. cough, cough…… ah ahhaha hha ha ahahha

  7. jalal says:

    adam807 good one loolz 😉

    well keep at it and in time youll be VERY funky 😉

  8. Wayne says:

    Sheniqua? A White woman?

    Faus dear, it was your first try in that class anyway, there’s nothing wrong with you. Appearently, Sheniqua just went along with her own paste without and showing no concerns about the students’ progress.

    She needs some massive spanking.

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