The Search for Love in Manhattan

September 18, 2003

Yesterday, figuring that I should try something different from step aerobics every once in a while, I went to the hip-hop/funk class at my gym.

This turned out to be a big, big, big mistake.

The class was taught by someone whose name ought to have been Shoshana, though it wasn't. She was a white woman, probably in her late thirties, with two pigtails. Not the type of person you'd think would be particularly good at hip-hop.

But you'd be wrong.

She showed us a combination (I suspect you don't call them "combinations" in hip-hop/funk class, but I don't really know what you do call them, so I'll call them combinations) and I was like, okay, I can learn that. It'll take me a while, but I can learn that.

And then she kept going.

And going.

Of course, every single other person in the class was having absolutely no trouble at all following her. But what not-Shoshana was doing was so complicated and difficult that I wasn't even thinking about what a moron I looked like, because if I'd diverted one iota of mental energy to that, I would have tripped over my own legs and fallen and broken something.

After about ten more minutes of St. Vitusesque lurching, I came to a very simple realization:

I am not funky.

So I left, got some dinner, and went home to write.

Posted by Faustus, MD at 11:29 PM

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A few weeks ago, I (from The Search for Love in Manhattan on 02/ 5/06):

A few weeks ago, I auditioned to teach step aerobics at New York Sports Club. For those of you unfamiliar with the gymography of New York, NYSC is the McDonald's of the bunch: there are classier gyms, but this one... (Read more...)

Comments

1) David said (on 09/19/03 at 01:10 AM):

I think you mean to say that your instructor's name ought to have been Sheniqua. Because its quite possible the woman you described as Shoshana had a suitable name, particularly if she dreamed of a multiethnic dance career during her summer at a kibbutz.


2) Adam807 said (on 09/19/03 at 08:38 AM):

Oh, honey, I could have told you you weren't funky. I only wish you'd asked before you went and found out in public.

3) Jeff said (on 09/19/03 at 10:06 AM):

Oh. Ah. Ow. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

4) Akasha said (on 09/19/03 at 11:50 AM):

I once took a class at the gym called 'West Coast Hip Hop'. Apparently the hip hop on this side is similar to the East Coast version because I felt the same way. There were old women (and men!) in the class doing funky moves. Quite humbling.

5) Wired Nerve said (on 09/19/03 at 01:58 PM):

Come on now, remember the first Cardio Class you took. I am sure it took you a bit to get use to it.. Give this a bit of time and you can be doing all the funk you want...

6) tim said (on 09/19/03 at 04:42 PM):

aaha ha ha ha ah ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha haha....... ha ha ha ha ha ah a.... cough, cough...... ah ahhaha hha ha ahahha

7) jalal said (on 09/22/03 at 03:23 AM):

adam807 good one loolz ;)

well keep at it and in time youll be VERY funky ;)

8) Wayne said (on 09/23/03 at 09:56 AM):

Sheniqua? A White woman?

Faus dear, it was your first try in that class anyway, there's nothing wrong with you. Appearently, Sheniqua just went along with her own paste without and showing no concerns about the students' progress.

She needs some massive spanking.

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