June 5, 2003

This weekend I am attending my five year college reunion. From this event, so many psychological issues arise (not to mention the financial ones—no college party, open bar or not, is worth $85—I will be dead due to alcohol poisoning if I actually drink my fair share), and in the midst of this plethora of potential neuroses, for some reason I am focusing on a scheduling conflict.

See, they have these “mini-reunions”, so you can get together with people with whom you actually share a common interest or experience (other than a diploma, that is). I have two potential mini-reunions, both of which are (of course) at the exact same time. I guess the lesson to be learned from this is that one should have only one social affiliation.

The particular decision I must make, therefore, is whether I am a theatre person or a lesbian. I am leaning towards the theatre person reunion. It’s closer to where I am staying, and I was actually friends with other theatre people in college. On the other hand, I think I have some secret fantasy that some really hot straight woman I knew in college will have since come out of the closet, and will show up at the gay and lesbian mini-reunion. In reality, a more likely scenario will be that no women, formerly-closeted or out-and-proud, will show up, and I will be surrounded by gay men taking pity on me and chatting me up so that the lesbian feels welcome.

Although the more I think about it, I am not sure the decision even matters, since whichever mini-reunion I choose, I will be the only lesbian among musical theatre queens.

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10 Responses to This weekend I am attending

  1. Jase Wells says:

    Weird. I don’t even know anyone I went to college with, let alone whether or not my school even has reunions. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

  2. Tin Man says:

    Oh, gosh. I read this entry before I read the previous entry, and I was so confused, on so many levels.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Oh wow. You are as neurotic as Faustus. Yay!!!

  4. Erin says:

    Decisions, decisions. Neurosis(ses) aside, if the mini’s are in close proximity, I’d say try to hit one and then the other. Maybe go to the one that sees the less likely to be fun, so you can leave extra-early, and then arrive at the assumedly-good one oh-so-stylishly late.

    Or maybe hire a double (so long as the face looks about the same… most people expect body changes right? right?) with a lapel camera to go to one and report back to you…

    In fact everyone should have a double on speed dial, now that I think about it…

  5. Wayne says:

    College Reunion? Oye, I’ll probably never going to attend one. Either I don’t go, or I need to take a LOT of chill pills before I go. Or else, the reunion will become a re-creation of the prom scene from the movie, “Carrie.”

  6. Nat says:

    ooh ooh go to the lesbian one in case some formerly closted cuties show up and you can go, “aha! I knew it! I always had a feeling about her” etc

    If your worst case scenario is that you end up surrounded by sympathetic gay men, you can’t goo too wrong there, either. Maybe they’ll be sympathetic enough to accompany you to the local lesbian hangout, or at least promise to introduce you to the cutest single dykes they each know. Although in my experience, that doesn’t always work out.

    I guess it all comes down to this: do you want to meet new people or do you want to hang out with people you already know? It’s your call.


  7. D.R. says:

    Heh heh. I vote for the “hiring a double” scenario. 🙂

  8. J Rocks says:

    For those not in the know, DR is referring to the fact that I have a twin, so the double suggestion is not as far-fetched as one might think.

  9. danee says:

    okay, i know faustus warned us and all, but being the constant drunk that i am i was still mega-confused. i was like, “uh, how can faustus drink $85 dollars worth of alcohol when he doesn’t drink, and why does he care if some hot straight chick came out?” duh.

  10. Adam807 says:

    Wayne, who would you be in the Carrie scenario? Pig’s blood dropper or droppee?

    College reunions seem so weird to me. My college was so much less divided up by class than my high school was, so I’d never see everyone I wanted to see if it was just the kids I graduated with. So the mini-reunion thing seems like a great, if logistically challenging idea. I like the assumption that everyone only has one interest.

    Anyway, I have my 10th high school reunion today, which is making me even more neurotic than usual, even though I was relatively happy (though not nearly so gay) in high school.


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