The Search for Love in Manhattan

May 01, 2003

N.B.: This is my first post of two today, since every time I tried to post last night my computer crashed. I know Macs aren't supposed to do that, but there it is.

The very first letter I ever wrote in my entire life, when I was four, was to the Kellogg Company. We had a rule in my house that two out of every three boxes of cereal we bought had to be "good cereals;" only one could be a "bad cereal." A "good cereal" was one that didn't have sugar as one of the first three listed ingredients. This meant that most of the time we had to eat boring crap like Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes, and only occasionally could we get terrific stuff like Cookie Crisp.

Naturally I found this situation unacceptable, but I also knew that getting my parents to budge from their position on this issue was about as likely to happen as my suddenly developing an overwhelming desire to play with G.I. Joe figures. So I did the next best thing, which was asking my dad to take me to his office and, while there, typing a letter to the Kellogg Company asking why the cereals that tasted good had to have sugar as one of their first three listed ingredients. Couldn't they make some cereals that tasted really good but didn't have as much sugar in them? That way I could eat yummy cereal more often.

They responded by sending me several brochures and charts and graphs explaining all sorts of things about their cereals that I didn't understand at all. I suppose I might understand them now, but at the time I felt both awed to have received a Letter from a Company and bitterly disappointed that they didn't really answer my question.

Now I have M&Ms and Coke for breakfast.

Posted by Faustus, MD at 11:51 PM

TrackBack Pings (TrackBack URL for this entry: copy me!)

Comments

1) elflad said (on 05/ 3/03 at 01:32 AM):

Oddly enough, I did play with G.I. Joe, but shortly after I received him as a Christmas present, I took all of his military drag and tossed it in the trash. I then took some of my sister's Ken doll's pants, and cut them down to make short shorts for Joe (and told my parents and sister that our younger cousin had done the hatchet job). The shirtless and be-shorted Joe--AWOL--and his "best buddy" Ken--in bathing trunks and unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt--then would tool around the basement floor in Barbie's dream car, a convertible (of course, there being no Barbie dream Wrangler).

2) Stephanie said (on 05/ 4/03 at 04:09 PM):

another Mac user! (Soon we will have more than four percent of the market! Five percent and we get funding for the next presidential election! -- oh, wait, that's the Greens party, not Macs. Damnit.)

Post a comment



Feeds: Atom | RSD | RSS
[What is this?]

Archives

(including The Best of the Search)

August 2008

July 2008

June 2008

May 2008

April 2008

March 2008

February 2008

January 2008

December 2007

November 2007

October 2007

September 2007

August 2007

July 2007

June 2007

May 2007

April 2007

March 2007

February 2007

January 2007

December 2006

November 2006

October 2006

September 2006

August 2006

July 2006

June 2006

May 2006

April 2006

March 2006

February 2006

January 2006

December 2005

November 2005

October 2005

September 2005

August 2005

July 2005

June 2005

May 2005

April 2005

March 2005

February 2005

January 2005

December 2004

November 2004

October 2004

September 2004

August 2004

July 2004

June 2004

May 2004

April 2004

March 2004

February 2004

January 2004

December 2003

November 2003

October 2003

September 2003

August 2003

July 2003

June 2003

May 2003

April 2003

March 2003

February 2003

January 2003

December 2002

November 2002

October 2002

September 2002

August 2002

July 2002

June 2002

May 2002

April 2002

March 2002

February 2002

The Best of the Search

Faustus Goes on a Date

Faustus Attends an Orgy

Faustus Is on the Horns of a Dilemma

Faustus Is Filmed in a Pornographic Movie

Faustus Places a Personal Ad, Part I

Faustus Places a Personal Ad, Part II

Faustus Has a Good Day

Faustus Proposes a New National Holiday

Faustus Goes on an Ill-Fated Ski Trip

Faustus Creates a New Form of Exercise

Faustus Notices Something

Faustus Discovers a Kindred Spirit

Faustus Suffers From Unrequited Love

Faustus Is Caught Off-Guard: A Cliffhanger

Faustus Asks a Question: The Cliffhanger Continues

Faustus Gets an Answer: The Cliffhanger Concludes

Faustus Makes a Telephone Call

Faustus's Scheme Goes Awry

Faustus Plans a Vacation

Faustus Meets a Lost Soul

Faustus Gets a Tan

Faustus Gets His Priorities Mixed Up

Faustus Makes Things Difficult for Himself

Faustus Celebrates the Passover

Faustus Is a Terrible Person

Faustus Is Either Very Brave, Very Stupid, or Both

Faustus Rings in the New Year

Faustus Shares Some Esoteric Information

Faustus Shares Some Esoteric Information, Part II

Faustus Shares Some Esoteric Information, Part III

Faustus Reveals Something

Faustus Explains His Superpowers to His Famil

Faustus Is Annoyed

Links

The Fritz Wunderlich Survival Page

Enquire Within Upon Everything

Notes & Errata

The Best Acupuncturist in the World

Furious George and the Cross-Country Crime Spree

True Porn Clerk Stories